On The Brink by Robyn Brinkley

Remembering - Actually, Hoping to Create Memories

2011-06-17T09:03:00.000-05:00

I began ministry to serve children - to lead them to become fully-devoted followers of Christ. As an added bonus, God gave me a heart for their families as well. Over the years, I've witnessed many families broken, healed, and some families created either through fostering or adoption.

Then...God did something weird - something very strange. He moved me out of children's ministry into administration and host team - leading adults, not kids. I embraced it, enjoyed it, and allowed it to penetrate my heart. I mistakenly thought that it replaced in my heart my passion for children. I even swiftly ran away from a few opportunities to re-enter the kids' ministry arena. Although I did turn from those opportunities, I think it was because my heart wasn't ready to break again for kids. Well...that's changing...again.

I applied for a job with a Christian foster care and adoption agency. I had always wanted to foster a child, but circumstances never seemed right. When married, my husband didn't agree with me about fostering. When I found myself single, it was all I felt I could do to raise the child that I had. So...I never jumped in with both feet - but I often thought about it and have lived vicariously through my friends who have taken that step!

As I began to pray and read more about foster care, I began to cry...no, not cry exactly but sob...for children. I have always been a "kid magnet." Somehow, God has gifted me to calm many otherwise inconsolable babies. He has allowed me to "coax" children into attending the church's children's program, even with their parents standing there filling their heads with "well, he'll NEVER go to kids' church." (BTW parents - your 2 year old understands you when you say things like that, and they'll fulfill your expectations of them by pitching a fit, every single time, just because you said they would.)

He has taught me to bend down on one knee and look a child in the eye.

He has broken my heart...it moans for them...it cries for them...it smiles for them.

I believe God moved me out of children's ministry for a reason - so that I could connect with and understand adults, so that I can share with them what their impact on children can be...no, MUST be.

Now - I am praying with all that is within me - Lord, move me! Let me have an impact not only on children, but on adults, so that together we can protect, provide and love kids that have been discarded by the world.

I continually thank God for all of the experiences He has given me. I'm praying...Believing...that He will allow me to help create families - with the ability to relate, lead and minister to adults, and with the heart that breaks for children.

PS You know how I LOVE YouVersion. Check out this 31-day devotion for Fostering Hope by Deb Shropshire.

Remembering

2011-06-13T10:16:00.000-05:00

I added a new devotion today Remembering All God Has Done to my reading. It's a simple, 5-day devotion that highlights some of God's activities in history in an effort to cause us to reflect on His activities in our lives.

Today's reading in Joshua 4:1-24 was about how Joshua lead the Israelites acros the Jordan river - halting the river's flow so that the Israelites could cross on dry land. God instructed Joshua to bring 12 stones, each representing the 12 tribes, with them. Upon reaching the other side of the river, they were to place the 12 stones as a rememberance to God's faithfulness in leading the Israelites out of slavery and into freedom in the land promised to them many years prior. There are so many elements of this story that are absolutely amazing - but today it helped me to think about my life - the pebbles, stones, and boulders of God's miraculous activity.

Like Joshua's history, mine is filled with so many God-movements that to tell them all would be a book, not a blog - so I'll spare you all of the details and do what I do so often - provide bullet points:

Salvation at age 11.
Church camp at age 14 in Chama, New Mexico (this is a funny story) - truly recognized the Holy Spirit for the first time.
Protected me from drugs although they were circling around me.
Birth of my son in 1993.
Recommitted my life in 2000.
Healed me completely from a catastrophic and life-threatening illness in 2005.
Delivered me into ministry as a vocation in 2005.
Allowed me to minister to hundreds upon hundreds of people for the past 6 years.
Given me daily breath, food, health, shelter, family and friends.
Daily wrapped His arms around me, gently guiding me to seek His best!

Today, I prayed a "sun stand still" prayer and as I did so, it brought a smile to my face. I truly believe God will answer this prayer in the timing necessary. And once He does, it will open up the rest of my life for what He has called me to do. Stay tuned - we are walking across the river on dry ground and God is meeting on the other side!

Special Olympics and Bocce Ball

2011-05-03T19:28:00.000-05:00

Last week I spent two days helping a friend manage the bocce ball competition at the Special Olympics. My role was to assist with registration and with running the competition brackets. I was thrilled to spend a few days outside, to meet new people, and to learn a new sport. Truly, I wasn't sure what to expect. While I'm still trying to sort out how Special Olympics may fit into my future (and I believe it does), I thought I'd share what I learned:

First, how to effectively (not necessarily efficiently) run a bracket - okay, numerous brackets as we had 10 competitions at one time. I'd never run a bracket before - so this was a first!
Bocce seems like it should be laid back, but in fact, it can be quite competitive.
Bocce isn't just for old people and cruise ships.
Athletes want their brackets updated pronto!

More serious things I learned:

Special Olympics athletes, coaches and volunteers are some of the most gracious people I have ever met.
The athletes don't care what position they place, only that they are allowed to play the game and are recognized for their achievement.
Every person created by God is perfect, we just have different gifts, skills and abilities.
Ministry could learn a lot from the Special Olympics.

I walked away this Saturday absolutely in love with the athletes and what this organization does for them! I have to say, I'm a bit frustrated with myself that, in my ministry (and frankly, within my church) I have generally focused on the able-bodied and "average" minded, without consideration for those perfect children with different abilities. I'm not sure how to reconcile this in my mind, but I do know one thing for certain - God has given me a unique ability to see directly into the hearts of these special people and past their disabilities. This is a gift that I intend to continue to explore, nurture, and see where it leads.

So, expect to hear more about my adventures with Special Olympics. In the meantime, I'm still on the job search, so please continue to pray as I seek God's direction for my life and my family!

If Mary Can Do It...

2011-04-14T08:40:00.000-05:00

Today I came across another amazing Bible reading plan on YouVersion - 21 Day Plan for Busy Women: A Rich and Satisfying Life. I figured I'm a busy woman (although not as busy lately), I've got 21 days, I want to live a rich and satisfying life, so I'm giving it a shot. So far, good call!

Today's reading is about Mary. You probably know the story, an angel came to Mary told her she was going to give birth to a son and that son was going to be the savior of the world. If you've ever been to a Christmas or Easter church service, then you've heard this story. It's been told so many times, and at least here in the United States, the "scene" of Mary, Joseph and Jesus in the manger is as familiar as the tagline for Wal Mart - Save Money. Live Better. But Mary's story is obviously so much more than the nativity scene.

In Luke 1:26-55, the angel appears to Mary and tells her what God is going to do. We don't really see how difficult it is for Mary to grasp the impact of what she's hearing, the writer only expressed that Mary was afraid of the angel, not of the message he was delivering. Instead, Mary says: "I am the Lord's servant...May your word to me be fulfilled." Luke 1:38.

Can you imagine - an angel appears (now this alone would freak me plum out) and tells you that you're going to be pregnant but remain a virgin, you get the pleasure of telling your boyfriend and convincing him you didn't cheat with another guy, all your friends are going to do the math and figure out that you weren't married when you got pregnant, oh, and, you get to raise the Son of God. Now, I don't know about you, but I think I would be overwhelmed with anxiety. Pregnancy and being a mom is a difficult gig, but to face Joseph and the rest of the world and then to raise the Son of the Most High?

But here's what Mary says:

"My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has been mindful of the humble state of his servant. From now on all generations will call me blessed, for the Mighty One has done great things for me—holy is his name." Luke 1:46-49

Mary is facing total uncertainty. Her young life has been altered in a way that will affect eternity.

Because of her faithfulness to allow God to work through her, I am who I am today.

Mary made herself available, she recognized and embraced her calling and God fulfilled His promise. So, as I am waiting for God to share with me His plans for my future, one thing is certain...if Mary can do it, so can I!

What about you - are you waiting for God to move in your life? Do you find strength in Mary's story?

Perspective - Sunrise? or Sunset?

2011-03-28T08:15:00.000-05:00

Many posts back I shared that two people had prophesied over me that change was coming, and it was going to be good. I had my own candy-coated idea of what that meant - that there would be some new way for me to reach people in my current role, but God had his own idea. Yesterday we announced that I would be stepping off the LifeChurch.tv team effective March 31. I'm not sure what the next chapter will be, but God shared with me a lesson on perspective that I'd like to share with you.

Think about a picture of the sun on the horizon - a bright yellow ball hovering slightly above the earth. Its rays are piercing the expanse of sky all around creating hues of radiant color. Is the sun rising? Is the sun setting? We don't really know - all we see is beauty, power and radiance. It's a matter of our perspective as to whether we see it as a sunrise or a sunset. Sunrise means the dawn of a new day. Sunset means the day has come to an end.

While I was thinking about the visual that God created for me in this mind picture, I began to think about the significance of the sun itself. Because it gives us light during the day, we tend to "measure" things by its brightness, "it shines as bright as the sun" is an example. I began searching through scripture to see what God said about the sun. Of course, He created the sun when He said "Let there be light" in Genesis 1:3, but I wanted to find more on its significance. I was stopped by two passages:

"The sun will no more be your light by day, nor will the brightness of the moon shine on you, for the LORD will be your everlasting light, and your God will be your glory." Isaiah 60:19

"There will be no more night. They will not need the light of a lamp or the light of the sun, for the Lord God will give them light. And they will reign for ever and ever." Revelation 22:5

My perspective about the sun on the horizon totally changed. It's not about the sun, or the horizon, it's about faith. Faith that my God is my everlasting light, that He will be my glory, that it will not matter whether the sun is setting or whether it is rising - that God will give me the light necessary to shine no matter what the future brings.

Although the sun is setting on my ministry through LifeChurch.tv, it is rising on a new season of life. And through it all, God will shine and the light will never go out. I love a good sunrise, and I equally love a brilliant sunset, but I will now look at them through the lens of faith.

What about you? Are you facing uncertainty? If so, do not focus on your perspective but instead turn to God. Allow Him to shine through you and He will give you all you need. After all, He created the sun...

2011-03-28T07:34:00.001-05:00

Lent - What?

2011-03-09T10:01:00.000-06:00

Today is the first day of Lent. Some of you have been practicing the tradition of lent all of your lives, some of you, like me, only recently learned what Lent was all about. When I was growing up in the Baptist church, the only thing I knew about Lent was: (1) that my Catholic friends couldn't eat meat on Fridays so the school cafeteria prepared some awful looking (and smelling) fish, and (2) said Catholic friends had to give up something they enjoyed - like candy or soda pop. I didn't understand, and frankly, I don't think many of my young friends understand what they were doing either. It was tradition - something handed down to them from generation to generation - so they particiapted as well.

Lent is actually a period of 40 days (plus Sundays) prior to Easter where we observe the ministry of Jesus Christ, his death, and end on the celebration of his resurrection.

Easter! No matter what your religious background, if you are a Christ-follower, Easter is the day you set aside to celebrate the foundation upon which we build our faith - the fulfillment of God's saving grace - "...while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8

The purpose of today's blog isn't to tell you to fast something for the next 47 days, or to suggest you only eat fish on Fridays. The purpose is to ask you to set aside some time between now and Easter to reflect on what God did for us by sending His son, Jesus Christ, to this earth to live, minister, die and be raised from the dead. This isn't just a good story - it is the miracle that happened so that each of us has the opportunity to be saved from our sin and spend life eternal with the creator of the universe.

To help you, YouVersion has added a couple of Reading Plans for Lent. My favorite is Lent for Everyone. Grab your tea (or coffee, if you must), sit back and read how God redeemed us through His son Jesus Christ. Enjoy!

We Serve a God!

2011-02-28T08:00:00.001-06:00

Each Sunday, we pull all of the people who serve on the Host Team at LifeChurch.tv Owasso together for a team huddle. This Sunday we talked about Excellence - one of the Core Values at LifeChurch.tv. We shared with the team two things:

Excellence is when PASSION meets PRECISION. When you are passionate, you will seek out precision.

We don't work for a CHURCH, we serve a GOD!

At LifeChurch.tv Owasso, we empty two tractor trailers and set up church in an elementary school every Saturday evening, then repack into the trailers every Sunday afternoon. Sometimes we do this with 30 people, sometimes there are only 12 or 13 - but we get it done every single week. And everyone involved is passionate and we do it with precision. Why? Because we serve a GOD! Some days go smoothly, some not so much. This past Sunday, we had a list of "issues" to overcome - but we did - and we were passionate and strived for precision. Why? Because we serve a GOD! Our Servant Leaders face all of the same life challenges as everyone else (and some have more than their fair share of difficulties), but they show up every weekend with passion, serving with precision. Why? Because we serve a GOD!

And not just a god - THE GOD!

And then ... we get to see God work - 13 people gave their lives to Christ this Sunday, 20 people baptized last week, with over 700 baptized throughout all of the LifeChurch.tv campuses. A grandmother was united with her grandchildren this past week. A lady praying for financial help not only kept her job after 19 people were let go by her employer, but also received additional hours at work. A father is granted his request for protection for his son when he visits his abusive mother, and the son's desire to be at church every time possible is bringing his father closer to God. A family with special needs children is now able to go to church because servant leaders have stepped up to help her family - and now, they get to have a "date night" every Sunday evening because someone is willing to watch their children for free. A couple driving by the church stopped and asked one of our Parkers what was going on - after finding out, they said they had been looking for a church and will be back.

Marriages are being restored, family relationships strengthened, people are being healed. People are praying for one another like I've never seen before. Children and adults alike are hearing about the saving grace of Jesus Christ - and they are responding. You can feel the "agape" love when you walk through the doors.

We are passionate. We are precise. We don't work for a Church - we serve a GOD - THE GOD!

Mornings and Nonsense

2011-02-24T07:53:00.000-06:00

I am not a fan of getting up early. I prefer sleeping the way God intended - until the sun comes up. I believe that the enemy actually created the alarm clock, and we were eager to adopt the evil little thing so that we could "get more hours in the day." Now if I could only convince the rest of the civilized world of my point of view.

When I have to get up earlier than usual, it messes with me in so many ways. Besides being tired, it changes my routine. My Bible reading time isn't quite the same, and definitely my blogging suffers.

So here's my blog - it's just a bunch of nonsense about mornings...Because I had to get up early this morning.

Lessons from Laser Tag

2011-02-22T08:07:00.000-06:00

Our team works hard, and sometimes we get to play hard. Yesterday we played laser tag together. Now, I already knew this would be a challenge for me (I was a laser tag virgin before yesterday). I've recently learned how to shoot a handgun at a target and did fairly well. I also recently learned how to shoot a shotgun at a moving target - and let's just say I need more practice. Since in laser tag, people move around, I had flashbacks of clay disks flying through the air and landing untouched by my shotgun shells.

I had every reason to be concerned - the first round, I was last, but my score did break 100. The second round we paired up and thankfully I picked the best teammate; however, once again, my score was the worst - and this time, it was only 29. Wow - if that doesn't make you feel like a loser! Luckily for me, my teammate carried us and we WON!

Here's what I learned yesterday:

Never trust a little kid with a laser gun - they like following you around just so they can see the pretty lights go out every time they shoot you.
LifeChurch.tv staff members are, by their very nature, competitive. Which means you can't trust them either. They like to hide in high places and seek you out. I think some of them were military trained.
Rules? What rules? Cover your laser pack with anything you can to keep from getting shot.
I am a jack of all trades but master of none - I can play, but there's no chance that I'll be mastering laser tag in this lifetime.
Scripture is true - I'm running out of time this morning, so I'll look up the scripture reference and post it later - but there's scripture about the least being first. I had the worst score, but because I teamed up with the best player, we won first place. This is true in life as well - team up with the best - Jesus Christ, and you will always win the race.

Corner of the Roof

2011-02-21T09:47:00.001-06:00

Sometimes scripture just cracks me up. Example:

"Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife." Proverbs 21:9

I don't know about you, but this automatically gives me a visual of a guy crouched in a fetal position on a high-pitched roof, rocking back and forth.

And another one:

"Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife." Proverbs 21:19

Visual here - guy walking through a dessert, clothes ripped and torn, lips parched, and head-to-toe sunburned. Not as funny, unless you are twisted like me and visualize a guy who's definitely not the "survivor" type and who didn't pack any water, sack lunch, lip balm or sunscreen when he escaped the house.

Scripture can have humor...but after we smile, we need to consider God's meaning. First and foremost - I don't believe God is directing anyone to hide on the roof or wander the desert because their spouse is argumentative. Just the shear nature of having a relationship with another person is going to lead to quarrels - we're human and we all have opinions. Sometimes those opinions differ, and an argument may ensue.

What I believe scripture is telling us is simple - dont' argue for the sake of arguing. While each of us has an opinion, we need to consider that our opinion is no more important (or even right) than another person's. We must put others first...which includes our spouse. How can there be any satisfaction out of a relationship full of constant quarreling and nagging? Being right all of the time may bring some level of satisfaction, but it will eventually bring something else - loneliness (and likely ulcers)!

So, if you see your husband (or wife) dragging the ladder out of the garage to the roof after an argument, you may want to reconsider your position. Instead of plotting how to hide the ladder after he's on the roof giving him no escape plan, make the decision to hold your tongue, think about your spouse's opinions, and swallow your pride. Before engaging in a fight in the future...think of how much more satisfying it is to have a peaceful house.

And as an added bonus, the neighbors will stop calling the police about the crazy guy sleeping on the roof.

It's Here - 18

2011-02-18T09:28:00.000-06:00

Yep - it's here. Josh turns 18 today. I cleared the day and evening for him - And, it is obvious that I am way more excited than he is. What's he doing right now? Sleeping! His gift and card are sitting in the living room, taunting me, all while Josh slumbers in his room. Doesn't he know it's a big day for me too? Just kidding (okay, not really)!

Here are a few attributes that make Josh so special:

Emerald green eyes.
Thick hair (I prayed for his hair before he was born - genetics called for extremely thin and receding hair - thank you God).
Incredible smile.
Quick wit.
Teases me mercilessly.
Can easily pick me up off the floor.
Gives the best hugs.
Can fix anything, whether or not he has the proper tools.
Very good shot.
Excellent bass fisherman.
Appreciates the outdoors.
Protective.
Loyal to his friends and family.
Kind.
Genuine.
Truthful.
Loves God.
Loves his family.

Eighteen years have passed and I'm certain there are many more ahead. While I am excited about Josh's history, I am far more excited about his future. He has incredible potential, and the opportunities are endless. I can hardly wait to see God's plans, and how they unfold.

So, if you see him at the Bixby Chick-Fil-A in the near future, wish him a Happy Birthday. But please, don't tell him his mom asked you to - he's still embarrassed by me. At what age does THAT end?

Reflections - Day 4 - Almost Here

2011-02-17T13:33:00.000-06:00

Seventeen - in a few short hours, will become 18. At 12:00, Josh becomes a man because of a number. Tomorrow morning, at little after 10:00, it will have been 18 years since I gave birth to a perfect little boy. 6570 days of life. Just numbers...but they measure a part of history. Here are a few numbers I remember:

2/18/1993
7 lb 8 oz

1st step
1st word
1st time he walked away from me in a store
1st bike
1st day of school
1st jump out of a barn hay loft
1st trip to the hospital for jumping out of the barn hay loft

13 years of school so far
1 night school
2 car accidents
1 speeding ticket
1 job

18 years of making me proud.

Reflections - Day 3

2011-02-16T07:19:00.000-06:00

Two more days and Josh will be 18. Today, God is reminding me of several scriptures which I have spoken to Josh and prayed over him countless times:

"Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6 (KJV)

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

"Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and he will establish your plans." Proverbs 16:3 (NIV)

As a mother, I want the best for my child, and the best is what God wants - God's plans for Josh's life. So I began praying these scriptures early in his life.

At 18, Josh doesn't have the slightest clue what his future looks like. His plans currently consist of saving for a newer truck, applying for college, and finishing high school. Overall, short-term goals that will move him toward long-term results. But God has plans - BIG plans - lifelong plans - for Josh.

As his mother, my largest responsibilities have been to teach him about God, lead him to understand his personal savior in Jesus Christ, to love people, to understand grace and to have faith. (Also teach him how to cook, do laundry, clean his bathroom, etc. - his future wife will thank me - but I digress). In short, establish his beliefs and lay the moral and ethical foundation upon which the rest of his life will be built.

I pray that I have trained Josh up in the way that he should go, so that in the end, Josh will not depart from it. God has promised that if I do my part, He will do the rest. Josh's plans are already established - and I can hardly wait to see what they are.

Reflections - Day 2

2011-02-15T07:45:00.000-06:00

Today's reflection is on adventure. Joshua is adventurous, yet practical - truly a mirror reflection of me who is practical with a sense of adventure. I sometimes wish I were adventurous first, and thankfully as I get older my sense of adventure is becoming more prevalent. Maybe it's true that you revert back to your childhood tendencies as you age.

When Josh was growing up we had all the toys - a boat, Sky Ski, 4-wheelers, go-cart. Josh particularly enjoyed the 4-wheelers. He had a mini-Raptor and we would take him and his buddy Kyle out to Appalachia Bay and other places so he could ride. He loved it! He was in his element when all four wheels were off the ground. That's my boy!

As I reflect, I remember often being nervous as I watched him jump his mini-Raptor, or as he learned to BMX and did tricks in the air. Nervous wasn't the word - it was more like terrified. Fear of him getting hurt was sometimes overwhelming. Fear is natural for a mother whose instinct is to protect her young, but I realize now that fear sometimes kept me from understanding the joy he was feeling as he was flying through the air.

As time passed, Josh's practical side appeared - partly because that's who he is and partly because of our experiences. But his sense of adventure is still there. He has graduated to a 4-wheel drive truck instead of an ATV, and this winter it found itself parked on top of several snow drifts. But at the same time, he is aware of his responsibilities as a student, an employee, a son, and a child of God.

I pray that I will always nurture that sense of adventure. The foundation has been poured, he is becoming a responsible citizen. But every once in awhile, I want him to experience the joy of four wheels off the ground.

Reflections of a Mother

2011-02-14T07:40:00.001-06:00

My son Joshua turns 18 this week. As the calendar turns from Thursday to Friday, Josh's status changes in the eyes of the law. He will be able to legally sign a contract, his insurance premium is reduced, and he can purchase his own shotgun ammunition without me. Many opportunities open up to him starting Friday.

And the reality hit me this morning - my boy will become a man. Bittersweet, bittersweet indeed.

This week will be dedicated to reflecting on the journey of raising him so far, and the dreams for his future.

Like many mothers, when Josh was born I had an idealistic opinion of what it meant to be a mother, and to have a family. He was, of course, perfect! I was infatuated with his fingers and toes - that God could knit together something so perfect and give it life was absolutely amazing to me!

Reality of providing for, and caring for another human being set in fairly quickly. But I was up for the task. Throughout these past 18 years, my survival instinct has had to kick in a number of times, and so it did shortly after Josh was born. The story is long and sorted, but suffice it to say I was willing (although I can't say I felt ready) to do anything and everything to provide for this child.

So many firsts - smile, steps, Christmas, birthday, word - I remember them all, and each brought joy to my heart that I had never felt before. God provided me with a child - a son - and it was good.

I am in love with him more today than I was on the day he was first born. I thank my God that He cared enough to send Josh into this world, to give me the honor of raising him, for protecting him in the past and future, and for creating such a sweet, caring heart who loves me and loves the God who created him.

And for those of you who are wondering - no, I'm not old enough to have an 18 year old child - maybe YOUR calendar says I am, but my calendar stopped about 10 years ago.

Abraham - Cliff Notes Version

2011-02-09T08:46:00.000-06:00

I was in high school when I discovered Cliff Notes. I liked to read, but was a little rebellious when it came to assigned reading. Cliff Notes were the answer! Of course, a good set of Cliff Notes would leave me wanting more - and often I would go back and read the actual book anyway.

While reading Acts 7 today, it struck me that this was Stephen's "Cliff Notes" version of Christian history, beginning with Abraham all of the way up to Stephen himself. It's clear, concise and reflects the full essence of God himself.

And I feel like I graduated successfully - this time, I've actually read the full transcript before the Cliff Notes, which made Stephen's account even more interesting. My high school teachers would be proud!

So, if you haven't tackled the Old Testament, check out Acts 7. It will leave you wanting more - be prepared, you'll want to read the book of Genesis!

Routine

2011-02-03T08:58:00.000-06:00

This week we experienced "snowmageddon," "snowpocalypse" whatever you want to call the blizzard that dropped between 14" and 21" of snow across the Tulsa metro area. Because we are not used to this type of weather, we don't have the equipment to clear the roads - so, it means that we've been snowed in now for 3 days. This has really messed with my routine!

Normally, I get up early, put on a pot of hot water for tea, brush my teeth then sit down to read my Bible. After reading, I pray, then move to the computer to write whatever's on my mind in this blog. Well, this week, my morning has been filled with watching news reports, checking emails and working from home. I've allowed this disruption in my routine to distract me from the most important task...reading God's word! I filled myself with so much worldy information, that I failed to seek the Father first!

I'm upset with myself because I really don't like disappointing God by not including Him first. So this morning, I sought His face, read His word, and asked for forgiveness. His word to me was sweet, He didn't hold back, even though I had for two full days. Thank you Lord that you care enough to forgive me and still provide your guidance and love, even when I don't show it back!

Speak Volumes Not Pages

2011-01-31T07:24:00.000-06:00

I read a passage the other day that I'm sure I've read before, but it just didn't pop out like it did this time.

"Jesus did many other things as well. If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written." John 21:25

The Gospels (the books of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John) document much of Jesus' ministry. His teachings, movements, miracles, arrest, conviction, death and resurrection are all told within these books. The Gospels are full of so many stories that help lay the foundation of our Christian faith. I never truly considered the fact that there was much more to tell. Well, sure, I realize that because there isn't a day-to-day diary of everything Jesus did, there was more to His life than what's documented in the Gospels. But, I never really considered how MUCH more! Then, I read the John 21:25 "the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written."

Jesus was only 33 when he was crucified. Thirty-three years on this earth, and much of that He spent preparing for His ministry before He ever assembled His disciples. His life was short, yet He did so much.

The question I had to ask myself is - What have I done lately? When it's all said and done, how much of an impact will I have on the Kingdom? How many pages will it take to document what I've accomplished?

Let me be clear, I'm in no way comparing myself to Jesus - He was God in human form. But if I believe the Scriptures, I have God in me and He wants to do immeasurably more than I could ever ask, think or imagine.

What have I done for the Kingdom? Will what God does through me fill only one page, or will it fill volumes? Or will it even be worth writing down?

This passage of Scripture is inspiring "Jesus did other things as well...the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written." What have I done that is worth documenting? And what will I do in the future?

What have YOU done for the Kingdom? How many volumes will it take to document your Kingdom works?

Reflection

2011-01-27T07:41:00.000-06:00

Ever have one of those moments (or series of moments) where you just get so irritated and let everyone around you know? Yeah, me neither. Okay - I actually have those moments entirely too frequently! Yesterday was a good example. Someone "pushed my buttons" in a way that just sent irritation and frustration through every cell in my body. Let me rephrase - I allowed someone to irritate and frustrate me, and I shared it with everyone within ear shot.

"As water reflects the face, so one's life reflects the heart." Proverbs 27:19

As I was reading this morning, God slapped me with this Proverb. One of my numerous flaws is that I wear my heart on my sleeve. No matter what emotion I may be dealing with at any given time, it is evident to anyone who I come in contact with. Whether I'm sad, irritated, angry, or happy, it's apparent.

I admire those people who always seem like nothing bothers them - they appear to be like ducks with the water of emotions skimming off of their backs. They truly have their hearts in the right place - mine...sometimes I wonder if God put my heart somewhere down in my toes.

I recognize my reaction to life is the only thing I can control. I can't control anyone around me - I can only be responsible for how I handle it. And I have to start with my heart condition. I've known this for a long time, and I've made great strides in transforming my emotions...but I still have a long way to go.

I want more than anything for my life to reflect a pure, loving, caring, merciful, and passionate heart. I'm getting there - and with God's grace and direction, am praying that, someday, I'll be able to look back at a life that truly reflects God's heart.

What about you? What does your life reflect?

Super Bowl!

2011-01-26T07:28:00.000-06:00

If you are my friend, you know I'm not a big sports fan. It's not that I don't like sports - because I do - I've just found that there are dozens of other things that I could be doing other than watching every football, baseball, basketball and/or hockey game on television. But - I've always liked the Super Bowl!

A few days ago, my son told me we should have a Super Bowl party. I walked over to our 27" television, pointed and the two of us began to laugh - yeah, who would want to watch the Super Bowl at our house when everyone we know has a TV the size of the football stadium itself. Well - that's about to change!

I received a telephone call yesterday from a good friend - they just replaced their "old" television with a flat screen and wanted to bless us by giving us their old TV. He told me before I say yes to come over and take a look at the TV. So, I zipped over there last night - walked into the garage, and there it was - glowing in the dark like some kind of beacon, beckoning me to "step into the light." My friend's garage was immediately transformed into an animated forest complete with Shrek romping around larger than life...on a 50" television with surround sound speakers! Oh my...I'm speechless - all I can get out of my mouth is Thank You!

I have been richly blessed throughout the years, and I am so thankful. God has surrounded me with some of the most incredibly generous, loving and genuine people! And it's not just material giving - my friends give their hearts by being selfless with their time and their love for one another. I only hope I can give back even a portion of what I've received!

...I think I'll start with the Super Bowl - who wants to come to my house? Here's your invite!

Dog Days

2011-01-25T08:07:00.000-06:00

A song lyric keeps running through my mind this morning - "the dog days are over." I am absolutely clueless why, but I can't stop singing it. I keep trying to correlate this lyric to my reading, to draw out some kind of higher meaning - a message from God. But...nothing.

The dog days are over. Well, duh! It's winter! And it's cold outside. Maybe God's trying to tell me to dress appropriately?

But - just as I almost give up trying to find some deep spiritual significance of this song, I read through John 17 and come across this:

"My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. They are not of the world, even as I am not of it." John 17:15-16

I don't remember all of the lyrics of the song in my head, but because it is a secular song, I doubt that they're entirely wholesome and ready to be turned into a hymn. But as it continues to bounce around in my little pea brain, I am reminded that I am not OF the world, even though I am IN the world. Because I am in this world, I am surrounded by music, movies, television shows and other influences that are OF this world.

Jesus cared enough to pray for me before he was crucified - he knew that there would be influences in the 21st century that didn't exist in his time. He knew how twisted and corrupt the world was and how much worst it would get - and he prayed for me.

Jesus taught his disciples and prayed to the Father...

"As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world." John 17:18

God sent Jesus to earth, Jesus trained his disciples and sent them out into the world, and they taught others who finally reached me. Just like Jesus' disciples, I am influenced in this world because I am IN it. But because of Jesus, I am not OF it. What I do IN this world is what matters.

The dog days are over - it's just a song that I heard on the radio and it is still bouncing around in my head. But it has meaning - meaning in this world.

I get the message loud and clear - and thank you God, I will dress appropriately.

It's Over

2011-01-24T08:30:00.000-06:00

Well - the 21 day fast has officially ended - and what do I want for breakfast? A banana and peanut butter. Seems crazy, I know, but I think it's an indication of how I feel about this fast and its impact on me spiritually, emotionally and physically. Truth is - I'm a bit sad that it's over (noticed I said "a bit").

My mind is racing with a million things I want to write today comparing this fast to different experiences, but I think I'll leave it at this:

Today, my mind is clearer, my body is healthier, and my heart is fuller. I see myself more clearly as a child of God and a woman of significance for Him. I am closer to God than I have been in a long time, and He is revealing to me, brick by brick, the path that He has for me.

And...I am afraid. I don't ever want to step back to where I was a month ago. I want to be in His courts, in His presence, in His will, the rest of the days of my life. God has revealed some big things and He has put people in my path to keep me accountable and to guide and direct me. He is creating new relationships and strengthening old ones that He will use to keep me on His path.

Today, I no longer have the "crutch" of a corporate fast. But, today, I have my Father...and it is Good!

Hearing vs Listening

2011-01-21T09:15:00.000-06:00

First off - wow, something really didn't want me to blog today. I've been "messing" with my computer for nearly 30 minutes - first the computer froze, then the wireless router, then blogspot service. But I press on...here 'goes.

What does the saying "I heard from God" mean to you? What does it really mean when someone says "God spoke to me?" Well, there are numerous examples throughout the Bible. In Genesis, God actually took Abram outside of his tent to show him the stars in the sky. In Exodus, God appeared to Moses through the flames of a bush that miraculously caught on fire all by itself. In the New Testament, God chose to speak to us through His Son, Jesus Christ. At Pentacost, God sent His Holy Spirit to intercede for us and become our own personal counselor for God. God has spoken in many different ways throughout time, and continues to do so today.

A friend of mine said to me just this morning that he longs for the days when God was more tangible - he doesn't feel like he's been "hearing" from God like he has in the past. Do you ever feel that way? Do you feel like you've never heard from God, or that he's giving you the silent treatment lately?

I'm wondering - is it because He's not speaking that we don't "hear" Him, or is it actually because we aren't listening?

Not too long ago I went through a period of time where I just didn't seem to hear from God - I felt like I was truly in a dessert, all alone, asking - no begging to be lead out of the dessert and back to the promised land, but nothing. Life continued to happen around me and I continued to participate, but I felt like God wasn't listening because he wasn't speaking back.

As I look back at that not-to-terribly distant past, I realize God was speaking, I just wasn't listening. Wandering around in the dessert, He continued to send me "manna from heaven" - He continued to feed me, provide for me and protect me. He continued to remind me that He will never leave me nor forsake me. But I was so focused on some ground-breaking, burning-bush message that I didn't listen to what He was truly trying to tell me.

Here's the message...are you ready?

"Be patient. Seek. Listen. I am tangible. My message is valuable. Listen and you will hear it. And when the time comes, I will move in a way that is unmistakeably me."

When we think God isn't speaking, maybe we should focus more on listening. Pay attention to everything going on around us. Watch for the little things. And as we ask for the bigger things - continue to do so in boldness that He will deliver - but be patient...and listen.

Facts and Fire

2011-01-19T08:05:00.000-06:00

I am really enjoying the 21 Day Fast reading plan (there are numerous Bible reading plans available online). Something almost always stands out - something that God wants me to ponder. Today's was in the Additional Content: "What facts are you facing today that defy God's truth? Take the facts to God...and believe with boldness that your God will be with you in the fire."

The scripture in today's reading was Daniel 3 was about Shadrach, et al's stint in the blazing furnace. They faced the fact that they were to seek their God and no other gods, no matter what the consequences - even if it meant being thrown into a fiery furnace. The story is pretty remarkable - the fire was so hot that it killed guards that were standing outside the furnace! But yet, Shadrach and his two buddies (I'm being lazy here - I don't want to misspell their names, but I'm too lazy to look them up - forgive me) came out of the furnace not even smelling like smoke! WOW!

Fast forward to January 19, 2011 and Robyn Brinkley - there are several "facts" that I am facing today. Thankfully, no fiery furnace (especially since fire is my biggest phobia). But facts keep popping up that defy some things that God has called me to do. In the past, I have allowed these "facts" to derail my commitment. I have caved and lost confidence in my calling. But God is calling me to believe with absolute boldness - the boldness of Shadrach - that my God will be with me in the fire, and in the end, I will step out and not even smell like smoke!

The kindling has been lit, the fire has been stoked, I'm in the furnace, and standing right next to me...Jesus himself! Come on in and join me - It's warm in here!

No Blog Just Budget

2011-01-18T07:56:00.000-06:00

Today is Budget day. I've got to finish the budget for our campus and submit it to our central office for review and approval. We budget on a quarterly basis - just finished Q4 2010, so we are budgeting for Q4 of 2011. This makes the budget process much easier and less painful - rather than budgeting for an entire year, we only budget for 3 months. However, it still means that I have a ton of work ahead of me today.

Therefore - so sorry, but no blog. No inspirational words. No insight into what God's doing in me today. No magnifying glass on how "human" (aka messed up) I really am. Nope...just budget.

Hope your day is filled with things that are much more joyous than numbers. Have a blessed day!

How to Silence Over 500 People

2011-01-17T07:55:00.000-06:00

I can hardly believe it's the final week of the fast. The last 2 weeks have mostly flown by - although there definitely have been times when it seemed like time stood still (especially at the Cheesecake Factory as my son was ordering his red velvet "cheesecake from heaven").

A good friend of mine posted this on Facebook yesterday:

God’s characteristic way of working is in quietness and through prayer. … If we are conditioned to respond to noise and size, we will miss God’s word and action. – Eugene Peterson

So true - God loves to work through quietness and prayer - but sometimes "quiet" doesn't mean sitting in a room alone with no distractions. Here's a crazy example: Yesterday, in the middle of more than 500 people, God revealed a bit of His plan to me. The room seemed to be eerily silent, although there were hundreds of people sitting all around and our pastor's message was being proclaimed from stage. God created His own quiet. He removed all of the sounds around me - the people whispering, coughing, sneezing, babies crying, Pastor Craig's message through the loud speakers, people snoring (just kidding - who can sleep when Craig preaches!). He created quiet so that I could hear his voice.

Hopefully someday I will share what He said to me...but in the meantime, suffice it to say that Change is coming, and it is going to be GOOD!

Confession

2011-01-14T07:57:00.000-06:00

For those of you fasting that may have cheated a little here or there, I have a confession to make. I broke my fast yesterday over lunch. Let me explain.

I met a couple of pastors for lunch to talk about the direction of their multi-campus church. We chose to meet somewhere central - and I suggested Smoke, the new restaurant on Cherry Street where my brother-in-law Erik Reynolds is the Exec Chef. I'll take any opportunity I can get to enjoy the delectable cooking of my BIL, and to promote this new restaurant! So...as I perused the menu, my mouth began to water...and I caved. Smoked pork tacos please. And they were delicious!

I figured in my mind - this is a "righteous" meeting, right? This is a meeting ordained by God to further the Big "C" church? So surely God won't mind if I cheat a little here today - after all, I need to be gracious to the gentlemen who were paying for my lunch, and I don't want to be like a Pharisee and point out how amazing I am because I am fasting for a whole 21 days! Well, sure, all that has some level of truth. But as I left the restaurant, and I moved through the rest of the day - one thing became very clear,

It wasn't about the fast itself, but about my focus on God.

As I delighted in the succulent, smokey, spicy shredded pork, my focus became about the food and not about God.

Let me be clear - God allows us to enjoy the food that He has blessed us with. But, when we are fasting certain foods, by eating and certainly relishing every bite, it defeats the very purpose of the 21-day commitment to God. Accidentally having cheese on a salad ordered at a restaurant, or not realizing that a certain soup is made with beef stock isn't really a "cheat" in my book - because we are still sticking with the spirit of the fast, even though we may have broken the "law" of the fast.

I have confessed to God and asked for forgiveness (he saw the beauty that was on my plate anyway), and committed to spending more time with him to make up for the focus I lost yesterday. And so now I've confessed to you. Forgive me. Don't think me too weak. And check out Smoke when the fast is over - you won't regret it!

Doubt is Out the Window

2011-01-13T09:07:00.000-06:00

For months I have been playing Doubting Thomas. I think I'm on the right track, then turn back because I doubt myself. The littlest speck of "debris" on the tracks and I stop the speeding train for fear of derailment.

In the message at LifeChurch.tv this past weekend (which you can check out at Church Online through Saturday), our senior pastor Craig Groeschel talked about how we would be "big thinking, bet-the-farm risk takers." Craig has spoken those words to his staff several times over the past year and each time I think - yeah, that's me, a bet-the-farm risk taker. But, my actions have not been a reflection...until now.

Several things have happened in the past few days. First, I received an email from a friend whom I had asked to pray for me. His words were uplifting and encouraging throughout the email - but the words that stuck the most are those he heard directly from God - "Change is coming and it is going to be GOOD." Fast forward a few days - had a fantastic meeting with a couple of powerful women yesterday, one of whom also received a word from God for me - "Change is coming and it is going to be GOOD." But she cautioned, change won't happen unless I'm willing to take some risks.

This morning, I read:

"If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do." James 1:5-8

I've asked for wisdom, have asked others to pray for me in this regard, and the word of God is clear and true. Do not doubt. Do not be double-minded. Do not be unstable in all I do. Believe and He will give it generously and without finding fault.

The events of the past few days, and these words from God have lifted the yoke of bondage I've been in for a few months. God is giving me Wisdom, and giving it generously.

I will seek after what God has promised with passion and determination. I am a Big Thinking, Bet-the-Farm Risk Taker, and I am empowered by God himself. So watch out because I won't be stopped!

Thank you for those who have prayed for me and I ask for your continued prayers! God wants to do big and mighty things that only He can do. Doubts are out the window! Who wants to join me?

It's Working

2011-01-12T07:30:00.000-06:00

Isn't it amazing when what you seek from God, He delivers? The past 9 days, I have been seeking God for focus and for change. And each day, I receive a little more from Him. My mind wanders a little less, my focus seems to be getting clearer, and He is definitely changing the way I handle the life that spirals around me.

A quick example - yesterday, I reached out to several people about a project I want to undertake. Before I could get a response, I heard from someone else on why it wouldn't work. Usually, I am quick to react, fast to jump right back and defend my case. But something told me to hang on, be patient, wait until tomorrow to answer. As the day wore on, I finally did begin to receive responses from those whom I had petitioned...and they are interested in looking into this project. Thankfully, I held my tongue, kept my cool...and waited. Of course, there's still a long way to go on this project, and it may face many hurdles before seeing completion, but I know now that God is guiding me and with Him, it will work after all!

I will continue to pray for focus and change - likely even after this fast is over. And I am thankful to My God that He cares enough to listen to a hot-head like me!

John 7:18

2011-01-11T07:30:00.000-06:00

"Whoever speaks on their own does so to gain personal glory, but he who seeks the glory of the one who sent him is a man of truth; there is nothing false about him."

Fasting is all about seeking. Today, I seek the glory of God, that my mind will be transformed. Simple as that.

Focus

2011-01-10T07:55:00.000-06:00

Day 8 - and today's theme seems to be Focus, Focus, Focus. Our staff team is currently reading Celebration of Discipline by Richard J. Foster and, at staff meeting, I am to talk about the first two inward disciplines - meditation and prayer. As I read through the pages, my mind seemed to wander constantly - thinking about the myriad of things that need to be accomplished. Laundry, dishes, Sunday reports, the list goes on and on. But God was trying to teach me something - Focus!

Meditation requires focus - prayer requires focus - life requires focus. But how? My mind is racing like a million electrical circuits, all firing at the same time giving energy to all of the life around me - if I focus on only one circuit, how will everything around me have electricity? The laundry, dishes, reports, meetings - how will it all get done?

Focus.

Focus..

Focus...

Focus on Him who gives me strength. On Him who gives me life. On Him who is my provider. On Him who is my sustainer. On Him who is my very creator.

Fasting is about denying myself something, relying on God to give me what I need, and then allowing Him to reveal Himself to me in a real way. Fasting requries focus. Actually, fasting perpetuates focus. As I hunger and yearn for the cheesy goodness of an omelette, as I salivate over the pizza commercials, I can't help but turn my thoughts over to Him.

Today, I am asking Him to turn off all of the unnecessary electric circuits - the distractions - in my brain so that I may focus on the things that please Him. I am simply asking Him to allow me to Focus.

And to remove all pizza commercials from television for the next two weeks...is that too much to ask?

Farming part Deux

2011-01-06T07:39:00.045-06:00

More about farming today. As I was reading yesterday, God showed me the following scripture:

"My food," said Jesus, "is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work. Don't you have a saying, 'it's still four months until harvest'? I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest. John 4:34-35

While I fast from certain foods, I recognize that my real food "is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work." And as I noted yesterday, the work is all about his people.

There's a recurring theme as I enter into Day 5 - people. When I salivate over the scrumptuous delights portrayed on my television screen, as I yearn for yummy meals all around me, as my stomach growls, it is becoming easier to turn my focus on God's desire to reach His people and provide for them the food and water of life.

I'm looking at people differently today - no, I'm not envisioning them as a large piece of pepperoni pizza - I'm more clearly seeing them as children of God, ready to be harvested into His Kingdom. And it is good...it is good indeed!

Farming and Administration

2011-01-06T07:39:00.000-06:00

How do farming and administration fit together? Well, you'll see. As an administrative pastor, I spend each day handling administrative tasks that help run our church office and also prepare us for the weekend. Ordering supplies, scheduling volunteers, managing budgets...there are numerous tasks that must be completed before each Sunday's services. Sometimes I get so caught up in these tasks that I forget the reason they're necessary - for the people.

Hitting Day 4 of the Fast, God is beginning to really stir my soul. He's showing me that although what I do on a daily basis is "behind the scenes" and sometimes mundane, it has eternal significance. It's not unlike a farmer who must ready the soil with the proper nutrients, plant the seeds, protect the plants from pests, and then harvest the crop. The farmer does months of prep work before he ever gets to reap the harvest from even one plant.

The farmer lives for the harvest. And just like the farmer, I live for the harvest of people - to see their lives changed each and every week. Luckily for me, my prep work is only a week long - I don't have to wait as long as the farmer to see the harvest. Each and every Sunday, I get to see first hand God's harvest after I've readied the soil - after I've done the prep work according to His will.

So if you ask me what I do during the week? Well, I farm. And on Sundays, I get to pull out the combine and reap God's harvest. So, if you see me on my combine in the church lobby, climb aboard! I'd love for you to farm with me!

Not Tempted - But Tested

2011-01-05T07:09:00.000-06:00

With obedience and vulnerability sometimes comes testing. My reason for fasting is multi-faceted - to be obedient to the calling of our senior pastor who has called our church to fast; to be obedient to God who has demonstrated fasting in his followers in many instances throughout the Bible; and the most important, to become closer to my Savior! Any time we seek after God with all of our hearts, we cause a real threat to the enemy - and his desire is to bring us down.

Yesterday, my son called on his way to school and his truck is having problems. It's the transmission. Anyone who knows anything about cars knows that transmission problems are extremely expensive. And, like many families, we do not have the kind of money necessary to replace the transmission. This morning I'm going to try to drive it to a repair shop and see if we can get an estimate. I am praying fervently that God miraculously heals the truck on my way to the repair shop, or at a very minimum, causes the repair to be inexpensive. Unfortunately, we live in a town that has little or no mass transportation, and my son has to get from one school to another, and then to work each day - so a vehicle is necessary. To many this may sound like a mere inconvenience, but for me being a single mom, it's a bit bigger.

We all face many trials, some more than others, and perservere. This is no exception - we will get through this one. We will not let the enemy win and bring us down. We will call on the one true living God to take care of us. He will provide the solution. And we will praise Him that He has given us the truck to begin with.

And, if you see me on the road driving a beat up 1990 GMC Sierra pickup, wave. But forgive me if I don't wave back through the dark tinted windows - I'll probably be distracted because I'll be gettin' my "G" lean on and rockin' out with the stereo cranked - may as well take advantage of the amazing sound system and pretend I'm a teenager again!

Day 2

2011-01-04T07:40:00.000-06:00

So far, my commitment to writing more often has stuck. Granted, it's only Day 2...but I'm holding out hope!

Yesterday went fairly well overall - with one exception. My sweet 17-yr old son wanted to take me out to dinner - to Cheesecake Factory! I initially told him no, that I'm on this fast and can't really eat anything (at least not anything worthwhile at such a temple of temptation - I mean really, the place should just be built as a gingerbread house covered in candy). But I heard a true disappointment in my son's voice as I uttered the words "fast" and "I can't eat anything there."

So, I figured I'd take one for the team - go to Cheesecake Factory and see what I could possibly eat - and spend some quality time with my son. I figured I would have to ask them to steam some veggies for me, or whip up some kind of fruit plate, but I was pleasantly surprised - they had fresh made guacomole (which meant all veggies, no preservatives or additivies).

I was able to stick with my commitment to God to forego any delectable delight (although my son tried to tempt me with a bite of his red velvet cheesecake). And as an added bonus - I demonstrated to my son what it means to commit your life, and your inconveniences, to God...and stick to it.

Just so you know, I am praying fervently that my son doesn't want to try another restaurant in the next 19 days because I'm afraid I won't be as strong! Lord, hear my prayer.

21 Day Fast

2011-01-03T07:43:00.000-06:00

Today begins a 21 Day Fast. Our senior pastor, Craig Groeschel of LifeChurch.tv, called the church to begin a 21 day fast. (I've actually heard from several people at different churches that their pastors are also calling for a fast - I absolutely LOVE how God brings the church together.) As I begin this journey, one of my goals is to begin writing more consistently - so here it goes.

This morning, I read Day 1 of the 21 Day Fast Reading Plan on YouVersion.com. As part of the reading, it suggested that I write what specific clarity or vision I desire from God during this journey. As I began to write, I realized how inconvenient this fast is for me, and how I'd really rather not give up cheese and butter, even if it's for God and His church.

Once I got past my selfishness, I began to journal the areas where I'm seeking God's clarity. This list was long. So very long. You see, if I were truly seeking God with all my heart, mind, and passion daily - if I truly give everything to God and give up my own conveniences - the way He desires - daily - then maybe the list would say something like "World Peace," or "For Jesus to come and Rapture His Church." But, I'm a flawed human being, a selfish sinner...and so my list is long.

Today, I will focus on being inconvenienced for God - the author and finisher of my faith - my provider - my counselor - my Father - my Creator. And I will pray over my long list, and pray that He looks down on this selfish sin-filled human being and gives me strength and determination to focus on Him and not on my inconveniences.

Messed Up

2010-12-03T09:26:00.000-06:00

I am totally messed up today! Life is spiraling around me faster than ever, and yet I feel like I'm moving in slow motion. I just read an article on Messy Canvas titled "Tired of Being a Christian," and it resonated strongly in my mind and heart. Here's the link to the article: Messy Canvas.

Lately, I've struggled with expectations...expectations of those in authority over me, of friends, of coworkers, of family...but mostly expectations that I impose on myself. I've expected myself to be a "leader of leaders," to be the "strong one," and to be the one that "has it all together." But truth is...I'm failing. And failure is painful.

As I read Messy Canvas' article, I realize that maybe the only failure is that the expectations are misguided. While I expect myself to be a "leader of leaders," is that what God expects of me? Does He expect me to be the strong one? Does He expect me to have it all together? I'm realizing that those expectations, those qualities, are actually qualities of God himself! And who am I to think I can be God?

I've realized that while it's honorable to be a "leader of leaders," God has actually called me, at this season of time, to be a "leader of doers." There is much work to be done, and it seems He has skilled me to not only get it done, but empower those around me to engage in the work of His Kingdom as well.

While it's honorable to be the strong one, He is showing me that it is His strength, not my own.

While it's honorable to have it all together, I am only one part of the Body of Christ, and without Him and without the others that make up the body, it is impossible to be "all together."

He is calling me to reflect Him, not to BE Him. By trying to live up to any expectations other than those that God has imposed, I am essentially trying to be God.

And...I...am...not...God!

So, I think I'm going to remove the word Pastor from my title, and change it to Doer. Doer of God's work..whatever that looks like, whoever that impacts, however that expands His Kingdom. So don't expect much from me...but expect much from God in me.

40 Year Plan

2010-11-30T08:20:00.001-06:00

As mentioned in my last (somewhat poorly written) post (I don't promise this one will be any better), I've always been fascinated with law. After flirting with court reporting, I eventually became a legal assistant - working in franchise law, securities and eventually contracts. Thinking about the legal impact of decisions has always been a knack...some might call it a sickness - depends upon your opinion of law practice.

So, I devised my "40 year plan." Being a legal assistant wasn't enough - I wanted to be an attorney (commence eye rolling and attorney jokes now)! And my goal was to become a lawyer by the time I turned 40. Well...that was MY plan anyway.

I attended University of Oklahoma, and then University of Phoenix, dropping credits into the bucket that was to become my undergraduate degree - with my eyes set on University of Tulsa for my law degree. It seemed like it was nearly impossible, with many years of school to make up for, but I was determined.

Then, one day, my entire plan was derailed. My dreams were dashed. Several factors entered into my decision to leave school (which is between me and my future highly-paid therapist). I was destined to live my life with people asking me "Where did you get your degree," and my sad little answer being "Well, I went to OU..." knowing in my heart that I could never answer "I received my undergrad from OU and my JD from TU."

Don't you feel sorry for me? (Ok, I know, not really.) Now the good part. Romans 8:28 says:

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

God lead me into one of the most amazing places - His Kingdom!

Now that I wasn't attending class and studying, I had extra time on my hands. What to do...what to do? Well...maybe I'll start volunteering in the youth program at church. I mean, that place is a hotbed of liability issues - they could sure use someone to enforce the rules! I had absolutely no idea what God was going to do, and where He was going to lead me in my 40 year plan!

He called me according to His purpose and has filled me more than I could ever have imagined - and it all happened when I turned 40. Stay tuned...

Court Reporter

2010-11-02T07:56:00.001-05:00

So...awhile back I wrote about college and mentioned my stint in court reporting school. I thought I'd explain a bit - let you in on a little "Robyn History."

My last year in high school, I took all business classes, was Vice President of Future Business Leaders of America, and was even awarded the Best Business Student of theYear award. I took all of this with a grain of salt - in fact, I wasn't even going to go to the awards ceremony. I was scheduled to work at Shakey's Pizza Parlor the night of the ceremony, so I didn't even think twice...that is until my school called my mom wondering why I wasn't going to be there to accept the award, she then called my work, and next thing I know I'm putting on a dress and sitting up on stage.

So, my senior the high school counselor died tragically. As a high school kid, this seemed to have little impact on me. I mean, I'd never actually met the counselor (I was never in trouble, was a good student, and felt there wasn't a need). But I now realize how this changed my life withouth even knowing it. Of course, the school system assigned us a new counselor, she called me in and asked me my plans for college. I looked at her with glazed eyes and said "I don't know. My parents can't afford college." That was pretty much the end of that.

One day, in one of my business classes, a man came in from a local court reporting trade school. He explained how we could make a ton of money while sitting in a courtroom reporting all that's being said. Sounds easy enough...I'm in! I have always been intrigued by the law, this is a 2 year school, and sounds tons easier than the 8 years it would take to become a lawyer. Sign me up!

Now, how am I going to pay for it? Turns out, my parents made too much money for me to get financial assistance. I was left to fend for myself, and as we learned earlier, I tend to take the path of least resistance. So, I registered for school, signed a promissory note and began making payments of $150/ month...at 18% interest! I was officially a student of court reporting school.

Moving right along...the court reporting itself was easy for me. I was an fast typist (110 wpm on an old-fashioned typewriter), and had taken 3rd place at State for Shorthand (yep, another fascinating tidbit of info), so using this crazy machine came easy. The classes were a little more difficult - I actually had to study. But, one by one, I managed to get through them. Then, about a year and a half into it...I realized something huge. I have a PERSONALITY! Court reporters (in my twisted thoughts at the time) don't have personalities, they just sit, take down the words and go home. They never get to talk, never get to ask questions, and have to bow down to the whims of the judge and attorneys. Forget that...I can no longer keep my mouth shut. So, I quit. Yep, about 3 months from graduating, I quit.

Disclaimer: Court reports DO have personalities, and are valuable not only in the field of law, but also for closed captioning - I just don't have the personality to be a court reporter.

Where does this story go? What's the moral, you ask? Not much...just historical. Although there are two tidbits you can take away: (1) Don't let a "no" stop you from changing your future like I did when we didn't get financial help for college - I'm certain there were ways to get it funded, I just didn't pursue them fully enough; and (2) Never sign a promissory note for 18% interest - you'll be paying on it for years to come.

Oh...and if you need to know what a typewriter was, you can google "ancient artifacts from the mid to late 1900's."

"New" Computer

2010-11-01T07:41:00.000-05:00

Freedom! Freedom is here! Okay, I already had freedom through my savior, Jesus Christ, but I just recently received a gift that returned a freedom to me that I'd forgotten.

One our our AMAZING volunteers purchased a new computer and was looking for someone to give her old computer to. When I was asked upon whom could she bestow this incredible gift, I sheepishly said "me." Sheepishly, because I really don't like asking for things - I mean, I'm sure there's someone who needs it more than me, right? Well, truth is, for 2+ years I've been using my work laptop for all my computing needs (for which I am EXTREMELY grateful). This means that my high schooler can only use a computer for homework after I get home (which is sometimes quite late). It also means that I can't download any software to the laptop for personal use. Oh the horror! So, I could really use a computer at home.

So, I accepted the gift with a huge amount of gratitude (although I did snoop around and see if there's anyone else that needed it more than me first)!

Now, Josh is able to do his homework whenever he's home (thus taking away one more excuse for procrastinating). And...here's the freedom...I'm able to use Quicken to balance my checkbook! Yes, this is HUGE! For 2+ years I've been semi-balancing the old-fashioned way, with varying degrees of success. But today, I balanced the checkbook to my online account, scheduled transactions, and know to-the-penny how much money I will have once all of my bills have cleared. Hallelujah!

Too bad this beautiful shiny computin' machine can't make those who owe me money pay up, so that my checkbook register looks more black than red. Maybe someday...

College, Already?

2010-09-07T07:56:00.000-05:00

My son Josh is a senior this year and we are working towards college. How did that even happen? I can hear my mom saying "they grow up so fast," and she was right. Of course, there have been bumps along the road, but only minor speed bumps. Thanks be to God Himself that we haven't hit any man-swallowing potholes on this journey so far.

I spent much of my Labor Day morning researching college admission requirements, ACT dates and fees, grants, scholarships, etc. etc. etc. To say it is overwhelming is an understatement...how in the world is a senior supposed to figure all of this stuff out if his 40-something mom got overwhelmed? But I am determined to give Josh all of the help I can to make sure nothing stops him from going to college.

From the time he was an infant, I have never "let on" that Josh even has a choice in the matter of college. It's just been an expectation. Although I do have some college under my belt, and a certificate in paralegal studies, I definitely took an alternate route to education, which I regret. I was expected to figure out my path beyond high school by myself, and I chose one of the easiest paths offered to me...working and going to trade school to become a court reporter. (Now, that's another story I'll have to write sometime.) As parents, we never want our children to repeat our mistakes.

So far, my manipulation...I mean prompting...is paying off. Josh wants to go to Oklahoma State University, and has told me more than once that he wants to make sure he sticks with it to get a degree. Many of the guys he hangs out with took a year off, or decided just to work straight out of high school, and Josh sees how hard their road is already.

I truly thank God that He has placed this desire in Josh's heart, and has made the path thus far pretty manageable. Obviously, I pray continually that Josh has a heart for God and for His people, that his path is straight, and that it be free from man-swallowing potholes.

Any tips out there to help in maneuvering all of the college grants, scholarships, admissions, yada yada yada?

Hot Pursuit

2010-08-30T08:00:00.006-05:00

I was reading in 1 Samuel 14 about Israelites who had been hiding in the hill country joined a battle against the Philistines. Now, stories of Israelites against Philistines are often told throughout the Old Testament, but this account caught my eye because of two simple words – “hot pursuit.” I was using the online Bible application http://www.youversion.com/, and I just had to pull out my old fashioned paper Bible to make sure that the translation was correct. Sure enough, my NIV said in 1 Samuel 14:22:

“When all the Israelites who had hidden in the hill country of Ephraim heard that the Philistines were on the run, they joined the battle in hot pursuit.”

I’m not exactly sure why, but the words “hot pursuit” made me chuckle. I expect to hear these words on an episode of Cops, or in a movie where the police are pursuing a band of criminals, but not in my Bible. It made me wonder – what did “hot pursuit” look like for the Israelites? Were they running as fast as they could, in full armor, wielding their swords above their heads? Were they on horseback, charging with swords and spears aimed forward? Was there someone in the group yelling a play-by-play back to the dispatch messenger “We’re running through Shrub Hill, into Grass Valley. Now we’re turning towards Rock Canyon and Adam 12 is in front putting out the spike strips to slow the Philistine horses.”

I digress – big time.

In this particular story, God had caused the Philistine army to become confused so that Israel would be successful in their battle with the Philistines. The next verse recounts Israel’s victory:

“So the Lord rescued Israel that day, and the battle moved on beyond Beth Aven.” 1 Samuel 14:23.

Because the Israelites were faithful in listening to and waiting for God, they defeated the Philistine army on this day. Their “hot pursuit” was after the Philistines, but before they launched their attack, they sought God and His direction – in essence, they pursued Him, and God not only met them, but laid a path for them to follow.

Those two crazy words – hot pursuit – really made me ask the question of myself “Towards what am I in Hot Pursuit?” What is it that I’m chasing after with such veracity that it can be called pursuit? And am I leading an army of people to do the same?

You can ask yourselves these same questions. Pursue after God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength and He will create in you a Hot Pursuit.

Football? Really? A Leader Lesson.

2010-08-27T15:08:00.000-05:00

I'm not a big sports fan - anyone who knows me very well knows this to be true. But as football season gets under way, and I'm surrounded by serious college football fans (I hear the appropriate color to wear is orange, although I prefer crimson), my mind doesn't turn to the teams, games, or statistics. Instead, because I tend to focus on individual people and how they best fit within a group, my mind turns to the players and their coaches.

So here's my question - What is the difference between a good coach and a great coach?
Of course there are many things that separate good coaches and leaders from mediocre ones…understanding the fundamentals, experience, resources…but one thing stands out to me. What is their focus? Is their focus solely on winning the game? Or is it on getting the best out of each and every player for the game at hand and for the future?

Teams are generally measured on wins and losses – how many games have they won or lost during a season. But there’s another measurement that I think we fail to recognize. How many players have gone on to be successful on other teams or even in business?

Many players begin playing their particular sport as children. Some have obvious talent and will rise through the ranks because of that sheer talent. But some may not have talent that is obvious to the untrained observer. For those players to be successful, they will have to have the heart and passion to stick with the game, and will have to have a coach who can see inside of them – see that the talent is there just waiting for someone to bring it out. Anyone can coach a team full of extremely talented players – you know the kind, they were born with a bat in their hand, or were swishing 3-pointers at age 12. But a true leader takes the kid who picks daisies in the outfield during the game and capitalizes on their heart and passion, and pulls that star-outfielder talent out of them.

Great coaches and leaders not only generate success out of a player while they are on their team, but they also send them out to continue in success either on other teams or in other realms. Great college coaches send numerous players into the pros. Great professional coaches send players out into successful business once their sports career has ended.

Great leaders send their team members out to lead others.

Whether you’re leading a team of volunteers, or a team of people in your business, who have you sent out lately? Who has left the ranks of your team to become leaders of another team? Who have you turned out that has become successful in other areas?

Focus on cultivating successful players – focus on the person themselves, finding their talent and developing it – and you’ll have a successful team and win the game.

Under Construction

2010-08-24T16:48:00.000-05:00

I always marvel at construction sites. My stepdad spent his life in construction and built numerous silos that are standing strong throughout the Golden, Colorado valley. Not only did my stepdad construct for a living, there was always a project going on at the house – usually involving concrete. Dad was in his element when he had a concrete pumper truck pulling up to the curb. My sister and I learned how to prepare the work site, set forms, lay rebar, and pour and cure concrete, all before we were teens.

To this day, I tend to be drawn to anything concrete – my dream home would be patterned shades of gray cement on the exterior and polished stained concrete floors throughout. You could say my stepdad created in us a sound foundation for understanding and admiring quality construction.

While my stepdad was teaching us about structures, my family was also laying another foundation – belief in Jesus Christ. They taught us that Jesus Christ was the son of God, born of a virgin, crucified and raised from the dead. They instilled in us that through His blood, our sins were forgiven. They shared with us not only the good news, but the fear of God because of sin. They laid the foundation.

We were “church bus” kids through our early years. We attended a larger Baptist church in the area, riding the bus each Sunday with the other kids whose parents preferred to sleep in. We would attend Sunday School, then go on to children’s church, then usually meet our parents after church for the ride home. Statistics show that we were like the majority of Christians – attend church on Sunday, go on with normal life Monday through Saturday. We believed in Jesus, but we only visited him at church, and didn’t cultivate our relationship with Him during the week.

Is that a problem? I mean, I go to church on Sundays to visit – just like going to Grandma’s house for a week in the summer. I still love you and you love me, right?

Construction doesn't end after the foundation is laid - it continues until the building is completely finished.

“Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won’t you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it? For if you lay the foundation and are not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule you, saying, “This person began to build and wasn’t able to finish.” Luke 14:28-30.

Learning about, and then accepting Jesus Christ is like laying the foundation to the most amazing building ever built. To finish the building, you must continue to work, developing your relationship with Christ. He will provide the blueprints, the tools and the materials. You just have to show up and do the work. At the end, you will witness the most incredible construciton imagineable - a life filled with the beauty that is Jesus Christ.

So what are you waiting for? Do you need to start the foundation now? Then call on Jesus Christ and ask Him to become your personal savior. Is your foundation already laid, then seek after Him with all your heart, mind, soul and strength and get ready for the most luxurious life imaginable - a life of service to the one and only true living God!

Book of Eli

2010-01-18T07:30:00.002-06:00

I recently saw the Movie Book of Eli. First, I recommend this movie to everyone - although it is a bit violent (what movie isn't these days - not excusing, just the truth), it has a tremendous message.

I won't spoil the movie for you - just want to challenge you (and myself) into thinking...how far would you go for something you believe in? How many obstacles would you face, years would you devote, miles would you walk? Do you believe in God enough to make Him and His calling your entire life?

Check the movie and you'll see what I mean. See if you don't walk out of the theatre challenged to seek out His calling for your life, and follow it no matter what the cost.

It Takes All

2010-01-14T13:44:00.002-06:00

It surely has been awhile since I've written - I'm surprised Blogspot hasn't deleted me. I shared a "word" with our Host Team at LifeChurch.tv Owasso today, and was inspired to share it here as well. Here goes:

I was reading Nehemiah 13 this morning and it reminded me how it takes all of us to fulfill God’s purpose. Nehemiah was called by God to rebuild the wall of Jerusalem, and he assembled many people to complete the task. In Chapter 13, the Bible accounts for who rebuilt different sections. It gives a beautiful (although sometimes tedious) description of how one group repaired one section, and then next to them was another group responsible for another section.
To build the wall, it took many people, each with their appointed task, working next to and hand-in-hand with each other. This is the same philosophy used in building a church and in filling God’s Kingdom. We each do our part, our neighbor and friend does their part, then next thing you know, the wall goes up! What an awesome visualization!

Times are very strange lately - odd weather patterns, economic downturns, catastrophic earthquakes. Time is shorter today than it was yesterday for us to step up and do whatever it is God is calling us to do. Have you been assigned to a section of the wall? Are you doing your part? Seek God - ask Him what he would have you do. I hope that it's standing next to me in my section of the wall!

Strengths

2009-11-18T20:37:00.004-06:00

This post is short and sweet - My top strength is Futuristic - meaning that when working within my passions, I tend to be looking ahead - often by months or even years. While I have a "gift" of administration and working in the details, one of my passions is evaluating trends, studying culture and planning for the future.

Lately it seems that there is so much to do that my ability to be a futurist is compromised. I'm being stretched by working in the daily details, and not having the opportunity to plan for the future. It is a stretching exercise for sure. An exercise I'm willing to endure, but I'm also ready to get "back to the future."

Passion

2009-10-10T12:11:00.004-05:00

Our Senior Pastor, Craig Groeschel recently said “I love that your passion is greater than your gifts.” He said this to an audience of nearly 500 staff, spouses and network church leaders. In the "church world," we put so much stock in our spiritual gifts - but without passion, the gifts can never realize their full potential.

The staff and Servant Leaders of LifeChurch.tv Owasso have a passion, a mission – a “grand dream”– to lead people to become fully-devoted followers of Christ. We press towards that dream every day.

“Grand dreams don’t become significant realities through the actions of a single person.” The Leadership Challenge

It takes more than one person to realize this dream – and together, we are an unstoppable team of passionate dreamers, ready to conquer the world, one small task at a time, for Christ.

Are you serving with your passion so that God’s dream can be realized!

Coincidence? I Think Not.

2009-09-22T08:54:00.006-05:00

This weekend the message at LifeChurch.tv was all about losing your faith. Very powerful, extremely timely, and resulted in 7 salvations at the Owasso campus and 88 recommitments! Praise God. That's remarkable enough...but there's more to this blog.

Sunday afternoon I witnessed my Dad being ordained as a deacon at New Heart Fellowship. This was a very special time, and I will blog about it later so it gets the attention it deserves. But after the ordination ceremony, we went for ice cream and my Dad shared about the church services that morning. He said that instead of preaching the message that was prepared, the pastor felt strongly that he needed to challenge everyone about their faith and knew that there were a number of people attending who needed to begin a relationshp with Christ that very day. Of course, every altar call has urgency included - and rightfully so! But this day was different, and Pastor Charlie wasn't going to let it go. The result - an hour of worship, praying, crying and numerous people committing and recommitting their lives! Praise God! And again - remarkable - but there's more to this blog.

What struck me is how eerily similar the message at LifeChurch.tv and at New Heart Fellowship were. Two churches who believe in the same God and in the resurrection power of Jesus Christ who unknowingly preach the same message on the same day. What are the odds? Well, if I were a betting woman, I would be betting that God moved the same way in tens, hundreds or even thousands of his churches this week.

What does it mean? To me, it reinforces that time is short. Every minute that passes is one minute closer to Christ's return! We have an amazing opportunity to reach people that have never been reached...which also comes with a heavy responsibility.

Where is your faith? Are you living life as if YOU'RE in charge? Have you ever given it over to God? Or if you do believe in Christ, have you filed Him away in the box that reads "For Emergencies Only?" As you read this, you're one minute closer to knowing where you will spend eternity. If you're not sure, then read John 3:16 - "For God so loved the world that He gave His only son, that whoever believes in Him will not perish, but will have everlasting life." Believe it...call His name now...commit that you're willing to open your heart to Him and seek His direction. Then...email me. I want to hear your story, and we have some resources that will help as you start your journey.

I'm so blessed to be a part of what God is doing! Trust me, He blows me away every single day with his magnificence!

Attraction

2009-09-12T19:02:00.008-05:00

This weekend at my church, we start the series Five Easy Steps to Wreck Your Life - with the first topic being adultery. I can confidently say that adultery is one area that I will not give into...the reason I am confident is that I've had many opportunities.

When I was married, I was the target of several different men throughout the years. I was even once told by a married man that because I traveled as part of my job, I would eventually give into adultery because "everyone who travels does it." I was absolutely appalled! But that was his reality, and unfortunately, is a reality shared by many.

What causes a person to break the sacred commitment they made to their spouse, or to tempt someone else to break that commitment? I will go out on a limb and say that most people don't enter into a marriage expecting to cheat, but something happens and they give into temptation.

I've met with several people who are victims of adultery, and I have experienced it first hand myself. One thing I can say is that the enemy who is the father of lies sticks with things that work, and adultery is a well refined recipe. While I may never understand why a person steps across that line, what I do know is that through the redemptive blood of Jesus Christ, there can be healing.

There are many resources available for those affected by adulterous relationships, including a story written by a lady I admire greatly whose husband fathered a child with another woman, but yet today their marriage is one of the strongest I have ever seen. Her name is Cindy, and you can follow her story here.

Because I have experience with this sin in my own life and family, I try to be acutely aware of anything I do that may be a temptation. Our church does not allow married staff members to ride in a car or be alone with members of the opposite sex if either one of them is married. I take this a step farther and will not meet, even casually, with a married man without his wife or others present. This is not only for my protection, but also to protect the other person...I never want to be a stumbling block for someone else.

You cannot control others, but you can control your actions and inactions. Check your heart, check your actions and check your relationships. What are you doing to protect yourself from crossing that line?

New Beginnings

2009-08-06T10:14:00.002-05:00

Do you like new beginnings? Every single day starts a New Beginning - a new sunrise, new time with our friends and family, and a new opportunity to reach people for Christ. It may seem like the "same old, same old," but God gives us a chance every day to serve Him better than we did the day before.

"7 God keeps renewing the promise and setting the date as today...9 The promise of “arrival” and “rest” is still there for God’s people.10 God himself is at rest. And at the end of the journey we’ll surely rest with God.11 So let’s keep at it and eventually arrive at the place of rest, not drop out through some sort of disobedience.12 God means what he says. What he says goes. His powerful Word is sharp as a surgeon’s scalpel, cutting through everything, whether doubt or defense, laying us open to listen and obey." Hebrews 4:7,9-12 The Message

What are you going to do for Him today? Don't waste it - yesterday is gone forever, make today a New Beginning!

P.S. August 5th was a New Beginning for Ruby, my sister's 6th child. Congrats Sis and Welcome Ms Ruby!

What Have You Done for Me Lately?

2009-07-28T17:33:00.003-05:00

Sounds selfish - if it were ME asking the question - but it's actually a question God is asking OF me. "What have YOU (Robyn) done for me (God) lately?" Umm...well...there's that time...

Shouldn't be hard to answer, right? After all, I'm "in the ministry." But there are days...even weeks...that, I'm embarrassed to say, I don't have a good answer. Sure, I jump through all the administrative hoops each week to make sure we're able to have church on Sunday. I lead a team of people to be hospitality, greeters and parkers at our campus (but really, THEY do all the work - and are AMAZING at it). I talk to people in the community about our church, it's culture and our mission of leading people to become fully-devoted followers of Christ. And all that I do for the Kingdom purpose...but His question is deeper than that.

Robyn - WHAT have YOU DONE personally for ME lately? The answer - not enough.

I haven't spent enough time reading His Word. I haven't spent enough time in prayer. I haven't spent enough time actually sharing what He means to me personally (not just "professionally"). I haven't been a good enough example of His love to my family, friends and team. I haven't done enough.

Next question: Robyn - what are you going to do about it?

Simple answer - Step Up, be accountable and quit making excuses! I can never do enough to repay Him for the life of Jesus Christ that was given for me...but I can (and must) step up and do more!

How about you - are you doing enough? What can you do to Step Up?

Thoughts for the Day

2009-05-12T20:53:00.002-05:00

"One day you will be called to answer to what you do with the gifts you've been given." Nancy Beach. What are your gifts, and what are you doing with them?

It's not a risk if we're using the gifts God gave us.

We are sometimes the people that stand in our own way.

If you are a leader, it should be because of your character, not your title.

Just some random thoughts that come from a day of opportunities.

Portability

2009-05-04T17:44:00.003-05:00

What does the word "portable" mean to you? Remember the boom box? It was large and ran on "D" cell batteries, but you could take your radio anywhere (if you could muscle it up on your shoulder)! Then, in 1982 the Sony Discman was introduced and the bulky boom box was quickly replaced. Here we are in the 21st century and we have portable music players that hold thousands upon thousands of songs and fit in the palm of our hands. Who knew how quickly our entire world would become portable?

I am part of a "portable" church campus. Every week we unload 2 semi trailers full of equipment at an elementary school in Owasso, Oklahoma and set up an "experience room" (auditorium), 4 children's rooms and a large lobby. We transform the elementary school into a sleek, modern, technologically-advanced church...and then pack it all up to do it again the next week.

Besides the obvious challenges of set up and tear down, we face other "opportunities" like - How do we keep the atmosphere fresh and inviting when everything is locked up in trailers during the week? Where do we hold campus-wide events? How do we successfully launch children and youth programs during the week without a facility?

I call these challenges "opportunities" because that's what they are - opportunities for us to come up with alternative solutions. Opportunities for us to reach people outside of the traditional church building. Opportunities to stretch ourselves (and our volunteers) into areas that we never thought we could go. But above all else - Opportunities to truly rely on God's direction, because our minds are so small and so brainwashed to think that a church has to be filled with pews, red carpet and a steeple that without HIM we could never have even considered a portable church!

Portable Church - who'd have thought? God...of course!

Reconnecting

2009-04-21T15:41:00.007-05:00

Do you have friends that you haven't connected with in awhile? Do you ever say "I wonder what happened to..."? Recently I was thinking about my best friend from high school. Just as I was thinking of her, I received a Friend Request from her on Facebook. Obviously not a coincidence (especially since I don't believe in coincidences). I was so excited! We had been the best of friends, but with us both getting married, and then my move to Oklahoma, we lost contact.

As we began reconnecting, it was pretty uncanny how our lives seemed to compliment each other. She had planned to be a youth pastor, and while I spent many years "running" from the church, I wound up entering into ministry. We were both outdoors people, she much more athletic and coordinated than I, but our interests are quite similar.

I can't help but wonder what God is showing me through our reconnection. Obviously, I am thrilled to pick up our friendship where it left off - that goes without saying! But it wouldn't be like me to just leave it at that. Everyone who knows me recognizes that I have to evaluate the situation to look for God's hand. And true to form, He is revealing things to me through my friend - two things really: perseverance and steadfastness. My friend has persevered through some difficult times. And she has remained steadfast in her commitment to herself and to her family. Details aren't appropriate or even necessary - just know she is a Proverbs 31 woman.

"She sets about her work vigorously, her arms are strong for their tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night." Prov 31:17-18

I am pleased to get to know my friend again and can't wait to see what else God is going to reveal through her. Is there someone in your life that you've been thinking about? Why not search for them on Facebook...or better yet, pick up the phone?

Sickness

2009-04-15T15:10:00.002-05:00

My son came down with a fever last night. Not earth shattering. Not new to me as a mom. But, last night was different. At 16 yrs old, being sick is much different than at 6 yrs old. I'm not sure if I'm ready.

Six year old boys want attention - he would curl up in my lap while his daddy told him to "suck it up, son." He wanted someone to sit with him and watch cartoons, serve him juice and make all the sickness go away. He wanted to know that he was loved.

Sixteen year old boys want nothing to do with mom or anyone else. He knows mom can't make the sickness go away, but he also knows that mom will pray for healing. He still wants mom to serve him, but he's capable of getting it for himself in the middle of the night so as to allow mom to sleep. He watches Discovery or MTV, and certainly doesn't want mom watching it with him. He knows he is loved, and therefore, he is independent.

Sixteen years behind us and still a lifetime ahead. While I miss the lap-curling moments, I look forward to the milestones to come. Hard to let go of the 6 yr old, but I welcome the 16 yr old just the same.

Repentance, An Escape?

2009-04-03T23:23:00.006-05:00

To become a true Christ follower, we must first start with recognizing and confessing our sins, making the conscious decision to turn away from them, and turn to the God of redemption through Jesus Christ our savior. In ministry life, these words flow off of the tongue quickly and easily, and often we walk away brushing our hands together knowing the angels rejoice because of another one saved. Well - the angels do rejoice, but is our job done?

In the 21st Century, churches are springing up all over the place for people who are disillusioned by their salvation experience, feeling they've been let down by their church. After all, once a person has gone through the above process, truly believing in Christ, isn't life supposed to be all glory and no pain? If our job in the ministry is to only preach the salvation message, then that's what people will believe. We absolutely must tell the rest of the story - and be prepared to support people through it all.

We must tell them that just because we turn away from our past, it doesn't mean that there is no remnant, no memory of it still remaining. As a parent we forgive our child who has disobeyed, once they say they are sorry and truly show remorse (sometimes combined with tear-filled puppy dog eyes), but there must still be consequences. And depending on the disobedient act, a painful memory may remain for the child as well as the parent. Repentance does not mean we escape our past, but it does give us permission to move forward.

Paul is a great example of someone who had to live with the consequences of his past. He spent a large part of his life persecuting Jesus and all those who believed in him. His salvation experience was remarkable and afterwards he pursued converting others to Christ with more zeal than he did persecuting Jesus. But Paul did not go without residue, without a constant reminder of his past - a thorn that taunted him day and night. He was continually reminded of what he had done against Jesus. God forgave Paul in the same way He forgives us.

I want to be clear - even though we cannot escape our past completely, the life we live as true followers of Jesus Christ is far better than our life before Him. With Jesus, there is hope, love and grace like we have never experienced before. And if that's not enough, then there is the knowledge that we will spend eternal life with Him in Heaven.

As Easter approaches and we celebrate the life, death and resurrection of Jesus, remember we owe it to those who choose Christ to support their entire life, not just their salvation experience.

Repentance does not mean we escape our past, but it does give us permission to move forward.

Calamity

2009-03-14T11:17:00.000-05:00

Heard something on Grey's Anatomy quite awhile back that's been rattling in my brain - "Smooth rides are boring. Calamity, now that's worth talking about." I'm not asking for calamity by any stretch (and don't watch Grey's Anatomy for its life lessons), but on the other side of calamity, if we look really hard, we see God's grace.

Our lives are full of some level of calamity - if not, then are we truly living? It's funny how we can talk about all of the problems in our lives...the "calamity," but how many of us find it interesting to talk about God's grace once the darkness has ended? I'm not saying don't share with your friends and family when you are facing difficult times...I'm just saying be sure to share how God's grace filled your life as the darkness dissipated. Why not add a little more passion to God's deliverance and a little less drama to the calamity? To coin a common phrase lately: "just sayin'."

2009-03-08T18:50:00.006-05:00

"Train a child in the way he should go and when he is old and he will not turn from it." Proverbs 22:6

A familiar verse, especially to those in children's ministry. As parents, it's a verse that we hope to witness in action as our children grow. Recently my son got his first job at a new "quick service" restaurant. The training offered by the restaurant was impressive - perfect for a first real job. He has worked on my stepdad's "farm" on weekends for about a year, but it's family, so the job, while excellent experience, has different expectations.

I visited the restaurant on its opening night. I was a bit nervous - would my son treat this job the same way he handles taking out the trash? Would he have the lackadaisacle attitude that he gets when asked to clean his room? Or...would he fall back on the training that he has received to be a self-starter and have a strong work ethic?

I was honored and humbled as I witnessed my son in action. He never stopped moving - not even to chat with me at my table. He gave a nonchalant "hi Mom," and then asked if he could fill our drinks. He visited every table, filling drinks, removing empty plates, checking with patrons to see if there's anything they need. He filled the condiment station with speed and precision. I was impressed.

Victory! Just one. Hopefully there will be many more to come. Of course, I know that there will be failures - which terrifies me beyond belief. But with each small victory, it gives me hope that he will always revert back to his training...the most important of which is the truth about his savior and redeemer Jesus Christ.

I will never stop praying. I will continue to build on the foundation that has been laid. And I will call on God's promise that Josh will not turn from the truth that he has been taught.

Happenings

2009-03-05T09:23:00.002-06:00

Been a crazy week - here are a few things that have occurred:

2 day mtg with LifeKIDs leaders. One word - INCREDIBLE!
Completed 2008 Taxes. Three words - NOT SO INCREDIBLE!
My son passed his driving test and got his license.
He drove 30+ miles his first day driving alone, and took himself to get a hair cut
Today is a "flip flop" day - going to be in the 80s in T-Town. I love the sun and warm weather.

God is so amazing and my life is full of joy and anticipation. Those of you that know me know that I love adrenaline...and there's no rush better than feeling, really feeling God's loving embrace. Thank you Jesus for busy weeks like this one, and for what you are going to do in the days, weeks, months, years to come!

Skills

2009-02-25T11:51:00.002-06:00

As I was reading my Daily You Version Devotion on Monday, I couldn’t help but think about the calling that God has placed on each of us to serve Him in different capacities. He has given each of us a skill to carry out His work, and our obedience helps Him to build His Kingdom.

“…and every skilled person to whom the Lord has given skill and ability to know how to carry out all the work of constructing the sanctuary are to do the work just as the Lord has commanded.” Exodus 36:1

While this passage is talking specifically about building the tabernacle, it sets an example of the fact that God gives each and every one of us specific skills. Paul outlined some of those skills in 1st Corinthians 12 and 14 as he listed the gifts of the Spirit. It is our responsibility to take those gifts and skills and utilize them in His service.

My question to each of you is - how are you using the skills entrusted you by God to further His Kingdom? Maybe you're not called to vocational ministry or commissioned to build a tabernacle, but you are called to do something with your skills - at your job, in your household, in your church. What are you doing today to honor God by using His gifts?

16 Years Ago

2009-02-18T11:21:00.008-06:00

Sixteen years ago I was holding my new baby boy in my arms, counting his 10 perfect fingers and 10 perfect toes and looking into his innocent eyes. I was starry-eyed with expectation, and scared to death at the same time. What would he become? What kind of a mother would I be?

Today he is a young man, a sophmore in high school and ready to get his driver's license. While I am excited for him and for his future, I am likewise melancholy. Being a mother is much harder than I ever expected. It is also more rewarding than I could have imagined.

Sixteen years ago my life changed forever. Thank you God for the gift of my son Joshua.

Owasso

2009-02-15T19:22:00.002-06:00

All I can say is WOW! Today marked the official launch of the 14th LifeChurch.tv campus in Owasso, Oklahoma. With 681 people, 118 kids and 6 salvations, God is working tremendously in NE Oklahoma. Lives are being changed and He has allowed me to be a part. I can hardly believe it. That's all I have to say right now - my mind just can't wrap itself around how amazing God is!

Tested and Approved

2009-02-04T07:22:00.004-06:00

Are you tested and approved? Tertius writes in his letter:

"Greet Apelles, tested and approved in Christ." Romans 16:10

I'm not a patient researcher, so my limited research of Apelles shows that he may have questioned the Old Testament writings, but he was a Christ follower - obviously a notable one. I'm not sure exactly how he was tested, but actually Apelles is not my point.

My point is this - are you tested and approved in Christ?

Products on the market today sometimes have a "seal of approval," and maybe you've heard the advertising "kid tested, mother approved." These products submit themselves to testing, often vigorous, relentless testing, to show consumers that their claim to be a good product are true.

If you are a Christian, then you claim to follow Christ and to uphold His truth, even under vigorous testing. Have you received the "seal of approval?"

Unlike products for sale, our testing never ends. But just like those products, sometimes it's necessary to make modifications to pass the test. Maybe we get out of alignment or some integral part becomes loose. We have the advantage of a direct relationship with the Creator to make any necessary modifications.

So what about you - are you tested and approved in Christ? Submit yourself to the Father and ask Him to make any changes so that you will receive the "seal of approval."

2009-02-02T18:39:00.012-06:00

I have once again been contemplating "why" - why does God create in me one thing, and then seemingly change His mind? Why does it seem like He's changing His mind only with me and not those closest to me? Why does He surround me with incredible people, with varying degrees of closeness, but yet I sometimes still feel so alone?

While my questions still stand, I was reminded of something today when I was reading a blog post from a friend, Kendra http://swerve.lifechurch.tv/2009/02/02/guest-kendra-golden/. God has a perfect plan - He shares His vision as He deems necessary, and He has a goal.

The LORD answered me and said, “Record the vision and inscribe it on
tablets, that the one who reads it may run. For the vision is yet for the
appointed time; it hastens toward the goal and it will not fail. Though it
tarries, wait for it; for it will certainly come, it will not delay.” Habakkuk
2:2-3 NASBish

His goal for me, for my relationships, for my ministry is written on a "tablet" to be revealed at the appointed time. Even though it is hard - I wait for it, and as it is revealed, I will run with it.

Another thing struck me reading this post - the people He has assembled and surrounded me with are part of the purpose. Even when relationships don't make sense, they're part of the overall goal, part of the vision.

Though I may question Why, I do not question Who. I love the Lord my God with all my heart, my soul, my mind and my strength. I have seen part of the "tablets" and have faith that He will continue to reveal appropriate pieces at the appointed time. He will answer the questions Why when ready.

Been Too Long

2009-01-26T18:50:00.003-06:00

It has been more than 2 weeks since my last post. We have been so busy preparing for the Owasso launch that I just haven't taken the time to write like I would like. Here's a few things that have happened recently:

Almost 2,800 people at the Tulsa campus of LifeChurch.tv over the past 2 weekends - God's time is amazing as the campus fills to capacity - let's launch another campus!
Owasso core group is assembled and ready for the transition.
All of the equipment is in and the trailers will be delivered this Friday, January 30th.
Mock setup, tear down and training this Sunday, February 1st.
First experiences at the new Owasso campus will be held Sunday, February 8th, with setup on Saturday night the 7th at 7:00 p.m. (because the school is used for basketball on Saturdays in February).
Official Launch Sunday, February 15th (setup Valentine's night at 7:00 p.m. - this may change so we don't mess up anybody's "heart" day if at all possible)

Someone once told me, and I'm sure I've shared before - find where God is moving and join Him. He is definitely moving here - why don't you join us?

It's Official

2009-01-07T12:25:00.003-06:00

The launch date for the Owasso campus is official - February 15th, with a "sneak peak" on February 8th. There's a ton of work to do and we are in full swing!

There are so many examples of God calling people and asking for moves beyond what could ever be imagined by our finite minds - the most common example is Abraham. God told him to leave his family and his country and to into an unknown land in Genesis 12:

'"1 The LORD had said to Abram, "Leave your country, your people and your father's household and go to the land I will show you. 2 "I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing. 3 I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you."'

Being called to start an Owasso campus of LifeChurch.tv is at times overwhelming - but I still have my family, my friends and the comfort of my happy little apartment. If Abraham can leave absolutely everything, then certainly I can branch out on this venture with confidence and God will bless it! How about you - are you willing to step out of your comfort zone and start something new and unknown? Maybe it's Owasso, maybe something else...pray for God to move you and He will!

Join us Monday, January 19th at 6:30 p.m. for our next Owasso Core Group meeting.

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and All that Good Stuff

2009-01-04T09:16:00.002-06:00

Just wanted to wish you all an incredibly blessed 2009. Life has been so busy these past 2 weeks that I have failed to post anything at all - my apologies. The transition to LifeChurch.tv from Sanctuary is complete and I am now focused on launching the Owasso campus. Although there are many ups and downs in life recently, 2009 is looking to be one of the most amazing years ever.

As God stretches my skills as a parent, friend, leader and Christ follower, I pray that He will bless you and stretch you to be more than you could ever have imagined. God speed in the coming year!

God Never Ceases to Amaze Me

2008-12-17T07:59:00.003-06:00

He doesn't - just when I think things are rocking along, He mixes it up. I have numerous stories where He has amazed me by revealing himself - most significant are my physical healing in 2005, becoming LifeKIDS Director that same year, becoming kids pastor at Sanctuary this year, and most recently being moved back to LifeChurch.tv at the new Owasso campus. Each story is interesting (at least I think so), and He has used these stories to speak to and encourage others. But as I read a bit of Oswald Chambers this morning, I am reminded that it isn't the story that changes lives, but God through his Holy Spirit. Here's a snippet of today's devotion:

'The creative power of the redemption of God works in the souls of men only through the preaching of the gospel. It is never the sharing of personal experiences that saves people, but the truth of redemption. "The words that I speak to you are spirit, and they are life." (John 6:63)'

Although the most recent story of how God spoke to me through a dream is remarkable (it still blows me away), it is only a catalyst to lead people to hear the gospel - where God will reveal His redemptive power.

Wedding Announcement

2008-12-10T14:56:00.005-06:00

Got your attention, didn't I? I certainly wouldn't announce such an event on my blog - actually, I probably wouldn't announce it at all. You would likely find out after I returned from Vegas, Arkansas, or the County Courthouse and I asked you to help me move. (Just kidding - I'm not that callous.)

On a serious note. As followers of Christ, we have been given an eternal gift - to be the bride of Christ himself as He brings Heaven to earth. We should be planning our wedding day, looking forward to it with excitement and inviting everyone we know to attend. Just like children staring at beautifully wrapped gifts under the tree, filled with anticipation of Christmas morning, we should be filled with the excitement of knowing that Christ is going to return for us - giving us the ultimate gift of eternal life.

As we ready ourselves to celebrate His birth, let's also remember His promise to return. What a celebration will be had this Christmas as we give thanks for what He has done as well as what He has promised to do in the future. Ready yourselves - the wedding will be the most magnificent ever!

"...A man can receive only what is given him from heaven...The bride belongs to the bridegroom. The friend who attends the bridegroom waits and listens for him, and is full of joy when he hears the bridegrooms voice." John 3:27-29 'Then I heard what sounded like a great multitude, like the roar of rushing waters and like loud peals of thunder, shouting: "Hallelujah! For our Lord God Almighty reigns. Let us rejoice and be glad and give him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready. Fine linen, bright and clean, was given her to wear." Revelation 19:6

And in the event I ever get married again here on earth, you, my loyal blog readers, will be towards the top of the list of "people in the know."

The Meaning of a Note

2008-12-09T17:26:00.002-06:00

Mail - I used to love going to the mail box, hoping that there was something just for me. That was before my mail began to consist of bills, ads and more bills. Mail lost all of its fun when what I looked forward to was my monthly bank statement. You know what I'm talking about - when the Wednesday ads aren't even interesting anymore.

But every once in a great while when I go to the mail box, there's something that causes me to run back into my apartment with anticipation - hardly making it up the steps before I begin to tear the envelope apart. A handwritten note or card from someone who was thinking about me - from someone who took the time out to write a note to say they care.

The art of writing notes and using "snail mail" has tumbled into a deep chasm, replaced by e-mail and text messaging. I am oh so guilty of neglecting this communication art myself - I blame it on my poor handwriting. But awhile back, I decided to take a run at resurrecting note writing and began sending small cards with a "just wanted you to know I'm thinking about you" thoughts to some of the people who impacted me the previous week. I don't do it enough, and I'm trying to expand my horizons beyond the volunteers in our ministry, but at least I'm trying. And, it's working. I've received several e-mails this week stating how much they appreciated receiving a card. One of the e-mails said "I know you don't have time for writing notes, and yet you do." This has changed my perspective - I now feel: How can I not have time to write these notes? How can I go a day, week or month without letting people know that I care and am thinking about them? If the few minutes it takes each week to write cards, address them and slap a stamp on the front positively impacts only one life, then it's worth it!

What about you? When is the last time you wrote a note with your very own hand (not on a keyboard, QWERTY or otherwise)? When is the last time you received a handwritten note? If it's been awhile, let me know - I'll send you one! Better yet - send some out yourself and see if you don't get one or two in return.

Best Gift

2008-12-06T16:29:00.003-06:00

I received one of the best gifts ever last night - an acoustic guitar (or gy-TAR as my dad would call it). I can't wait to learn how to play and could hardly sleep last night thinking about online lessons vs going to a live instructor, picking vs strumming, minor chords, major chords, etc.

I am so blessed and have so much going through my head that I think I won't bore you - suffice it to say that I am blown away excited! Now, pray for me that I can learn this thing and recognize my lifelong dream to be a Rock Star! (JK - a lounge act will be okay.)

To the one who gave me this wondrous gift - THANK YOU! You are indeed incredibly special and I appreciate you more each and every day. I love all we have discovered together. You might want to pray though - you don't know what you've unleashed on the world!

Ouch!

2008-12-04T14:57:00.002-06:00

I was reminded today of something my son said to me a few years ago, "Mom, sometimes you treat your friends better than you treat me." Ouch! It was true! I was often on my best behavior around my friends. I look forward to being with them because they make me happy, and...I want them to like me. Shouldn't I be the same with my family?

We often feel like it's okay to "let down" when we come home because home is our safe place. It's a place where we don't have to be someone we're not, where we can just be ourselves. Well, if being ourselves means that we are ugly, grumpy and rude, then maybe we ought to look at who we really are...and not make excuses. Whether we have had a good day or the worst day ever, there is never an excuse to be ugly, grumpy or rude to anyone we are around...including our family!

There are times I still fall into the trap and am less than pleasant at home, but for the most part, I try to be the same person no matter who I'm with. I want to be known as someone who smiles and is optimistic - to everyone I meet. If I succeed, hopefully people, including my family, will see Jesus through me. If not...then Heaven help everyone because it may not be pretty!

Dreams

2008-12-02T16:05:00.002-06:00

Have you ever had a dream that came true? Not a dream like "I dream one day to be a doctor" or "I dream to have a romantic hunk of a husband, a mansion by the lake, a fast car and be rich," (not that the second one isn't worth considering-LOL), but a real honest to goodness, full-night's sleep dream? In my few years on this earth (emphasis on "few"), I've had my share of dreams but I can't recall one actually coming true almost to the clothing I was wearing. Until now...

I'm sure you don't care about the details of this dream (or if you do, too bad, because I'm not going to share), but what I want you to know is that God uses ways that we can never imagine to guide us on this path called Life. I've heard his "whispers," as Bill Hybels called them, in many forms - reading, thoughts affirmed by others, and through friends, but never so vividly as in a dream. There are numerous stories throughout the Bible where God speaks through dreams, and I have always been curious how that felt. What would it be like to wake up and think "wow, God spoke to me last night?" Well, now I know...and I am thankful!

Now...how about a burning bush?

2 Timothy

2008-11-25T17:01:00.002-06:00

Wow - don't you just love when God speaks to you through His word? Lately, he keeps bringing me back to 2nd Timothy, a letter from Paul to Timothy. The overwhelming theme is an encouragement to Timothy to endure whatever comes his way and continue to fight for the Truth. Paul tells Timothy that he himself has "fought the good fight, he has finished the race."

Almost every day for a week now, God continues to draw me to this book. I share with you the following, as it seems very important at this point in time:

"... I give you this charge: Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage-with great patience and careful instruction. For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths. But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry." 2 Timothy 4:1-5

Peace and Happy Thanksgiving.

Been Too Long

2008-11-24T16:05:00.002-06:00

Sorry it's been so long since I've blogged. A few things that have been going on:

Family Meeting at Sanctuary - went well. 250 in attendance.
Introduced new curriculum to 2s&3s - kids and leaders alike love it!
Mom's coming for Thanksgiving - clean the apartment, shop for groceries, looking forward to seeing her.
MacBook hard drive crashed - and no backup. Might need valium for this one.
Short week, so lots to do.

Sorry that this blog has no real "content" to it. Just thought I'd send a quick update so you know I haven't dropped off the face of the earth. Happy Thanksgiving!

An Emotional Day

2008-11-11T16:07:00.003-06:00

I'm not unfamiliar with sacrifice. Giving up something so that something (or someone) else can benefit. As a single mom, sacrifice is a way of life. Today, I sacrificed so that a friend can be happy. Let me explain.

Holly has been one of my best friends for 13+ years. She has been through a lot in her life - serious illness that has brought her to death's door more than once, divorce, and last year the death of her second husband. She has helped me through incredibly tough times - debilitating illness, divorce and career challenges. We have shared uncountable hours of laughter and tears.

She has taught me a lot - the most important lesson has been to "push through." When I was so weak that I couldn't lift myself out of a chair, she encouraged me to push through. When I had to move into a tiny bedroom at my dad's house with my 15 yr old son, she repeated "push through." Any time that I have struggled, she's been there holding me up and reminding me to "push through."

After her husband Gary died, I repeated her lesson to me...and she listened. Since then, I have prayed that God would bless her abundantly and bestow upon her the happiness she deserves. I didn't realize it would cause me to sacrifice. Today, I had the last of my "every freakin' Tuesday" lunches with Holly because she is moving to Arkansas tomorrow to be with her new husband and his two daughters. She is finally a mom! And she is happy - abundantly so.

I...am sad. I will miss her more than words can describe. But I will sacrifice. Holly - thank you for being there for me. I know this is not goodbye - but only farewell for now. I love you!

Ask and He Answers

2008-11-08T19:03:00.003-06:00

I know you've all heard that God answers prayers. Sometimes answers come quickly, and other times they seem to never come. Tonight is a mix of both. Life is often full of confusion and as we seek clarity and direction, we must always remember to "press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Phil 3:14.

As I prayed this evening for God to "remove confusion and make a situation clear," it was only a matter of seconds and the phone rang. No - it wasn't literally God calling (would THAT be cool)! But it was a person who I trust deeply. In less than 30 seconds, he was able to bring a level of clarity and encouragement that I hadn't recognized.

God heard me and used one of his precious servants to answer - so, in a way, it was as if God himself was ringing my phone.

Ask and He will answer - sometimes immediately...sometimes it takes time. But He always answers.

Tomatoes and randomness

2008-11-04T12:51:00.002-06:00

Things on my mind today...

Tomatoes - why did it take until October for my Early Girl tomato plant to produce tomatoes? I'm enjoying these lovely "ladies" for lunch today...in November. But they are worth the wait!
Finally - it's election day. Just a few more hours and no more political campaign ads on the tv for awhile.
What is the purpose of PMS? Josh asked me last night when I was going to be in a good mood again. Hmmm...maybe the 12th of NEVER (that's the PMS talking). Would anyone miss me if I drugged myself into oblivion and locked myself in a room for the 3 days of PMS? Just slide the food under the door and no one will get hurt...and the tea - don't forget the tea!
Speaking of tea - why can one brand of black and orange pekoe taste so much better than another brand? Sipping on TAZO Awake right now...mmm good!

That's it - randomness and tomatoes. Do you like my new pho-to? My amazing friend took some incredible pics of me for some church stuff - I think this one is most representative of me - outdoors and on the phone!

Believe

2008-10-27T14:43:00.003-05:00

My favorite word - Believe. Believe: accept as true; think that something exists; trust. msnencarta

I believe: In God; In Jesus Christ as the Son of God; In the Holy Spirit; In the Word of God as truth; In miracles; In family; In the Mission; In love; In passion; In following your dreams.

I believe our dreams are God's directions for our life, as long as we are seeking His path.

I believe in children.

I believe in the mission of Sanctuary Kids to share the truth of Jesus Christ in a loving, engaging and relevant environment.

I believe God has called us here for this very moment.

I believe in making a difference. What do you believe?

Days Off

2008-10-18T13:14:00.003-05:00

I took a few days off during Josh's fall break to spend time focusing on him (as much as he would let me). In one day, I drove over 100 miles shuffling him and his friends to various skate parks and other entertainment venues. Today - picked him up from camping, cooked him breakfast and had some great face time talking about hunting. Now, he's off to hang with his friends and attend a 16th birthday party.

He's growing up and needing less time with his dear old mom. I've sewn the seeds of responsibility, knowing right from wrong, and sticking up for what's right even under peer pressure. I'm praying fervently that those seeds have taken root...and I see some evidence of a sprout under that tough 15-1/2 yr old derma.

Example of a discussion today:

Josh: Okay if we go to a birthday party tonight? Cody is driving.

Me: What time will you be home?

Josh: IDK (which means I don't know, if you don't have teenagers of your own...duh!)

Me: Okay, curfew is midnight. You know I trust you to make the right decisions. Up to this point you I've been able to trust you and your friends. But the minute one of you makes the wrong choice, it will ruin it for everyone.

Josh: I know - it will really suck if someone messes it up for all of us. Love you!

I hope all of his friend's parents are having the same discussion. I know one of them will mess it up at some point...and Josh is right, it will suck! I pray it won't put anyone in danger...and I pray it's not Josh! Lord, cover Josh and be his shield. Command your angels to guard him when he is on the field. Rescue him and protect him, and answer him when he calls on you.

Yes - he really did say Love You! And then picked me 3 feet up off of the floor in a huge bear hug. Life is good!

Tenacity

2008-10-16T09:08:00.003-05:00

Tenacity is the act of being tenacious: 1(a) not easily pulled apart; 2(a) persistent in maintaining, adhering to, or seeking something valued or desired.

I am sometimes referred to as being "high maintenance" or "persnickety." As I reflected on this (trying to decide if I should be offended or these are qualities I need to change), I decided that a kinder, gentler way to "labeling" these traits (and thereby not requiring me to change - maybe) is that I sometimes exhibit "tenacity."

Recently in a message, the speaker referred to Jacob as being tenacious. Jacob was blessed and eventually God called him Israel and his sons became the 12 tribes of Israel. But without Jacob's tenacity, this would never have occurred.

In Genesis 29, we learn that Jacob, son of Isaac, is sent to his uncle. There, he falls in love with his cousin Rachel (yeah, OOOOh, but I guess it wasn't so bad back then). Jacob asks his uncle what it would take to make Rachel his wife and they agree that Jacob should work for 7 years as wages. "So Jacob served seven years for Rachel and they seemed to him but a few days because of his love for her." Gen 29:20. Aww - isn't that sweet and...tenacious.

But it didn't end there - as you read through the story, you find that Rachel's womb was barren, it seemed she wouldn't be able to give Jacob any children. This was bad news because her sister, Leah (whom Jacob was tricked into sleeping with - it's twisted - and a good read so check it out) gave Jacob a number of boys. Long story short, Rachel eventually bore him a son, along with Leah and their maidservants, and the 12 tribes of Israel were created. All the while, Rachel's father continually changed the "wages" that Jacob paid to make his family his own, and Jacob continued to pay.

There is much more to this story showing Jacob's tenacity and his obedience to God, but you will have to read for yourself. Can you imagine working and waiting 7 years for the love of your life? That alone shows an incredible commitment and sacrifice! Are we that committed to anything in the 21st century that we are willing to pay such a price - do we have this kind of tenacity?

While I "stick to my guns" on some issues and exhibit tenacity (whether right or wrong), I am challenged to weigh those issues against God's desire for me in His service. Sometimes being "persnickety" (i.e. tenacious) is necessary so that the ministry at Sanctuary honors Him and serves His people. Sometimes it is appropriate in raising my son and in developing strong personal relationships. Sometimes, I am just being high maintenance. What about you - are you tenacious for the right reasons?

Lose Your Christianity?

2008-10-08T10:00:00.004-05:00

Do you ever have one of those days when you wonder if you are going to lose your Christianity? Two recent examples - one I handled well, the other...not so well. Let's go with the pitiful version first:

Experienced a wonderful afternoon at the fair with the team from Sanctuary. I had the brilliant idea of leaving 35 minutes before rush hour so that I could get home with as little traffic headache as possible. Well...what should have taken about 20 minutes took 1 hour and 20 minutes! First, the entrance ramp to the highway was closed (even though the warning sign said it was closed only on "evenings and weekends" and this was clearly late afternoon...not evening). So, a detour was necessary...on a street that was also under construction and down to one lane. Well, short story long-it took me close to 45 minutes to go 1 mile. What did I do? I'd love to say that I cranked up the radio and sang worship songs to my Creator, but reality is I got angrier and angrier with each passing minute as I watched my gas gauge plummet. I pulled out the Crackberry and called everyone I could reach and complained...loudly and with much ugliness. I eventually made it home but I was useless to anyone because the anger and frustration pulsed through my veins all night long!

Second example: Wally World by my house tends to only round up carts when all 1,000 of them are in the parking lot. I waltzed out with my wallet lighter and my arms loaded down with bags only to find a line of about 75 carts blocking my car into its happy parking spot. I looked around, saw 3 cart "corral boys" standing next to another line of carts talking, laughing and having a grand time and making no effort to open the doors to the prison cell my car was held in. As I unloaded my groceries into the trunk, another shopper came by and asked if I could use some help moving the carts out of the way. What an example of Christ himself! Praise God and Hallelujuah! Together, we manhandled the carts as the "corral boys" looked on and I was able to escape while still "singing a joyous song in my heart." (Yeah - I know...hilariously mushy.) Seriously though - a situation like this could easily have put me over the edge into a state of frustration, agitation, and anger...but, I looked at the carts, the "corral boys" and my Good Samaritan and kept the calm and peace that can only be described as divine - consciously and subconsciously reflecting Him and how He would act in the same circumstance.

"Make sure you don't take things for granted and go slack in working for the common good; share what you have with others. God takes particular pleasure in acts of worship-a different kind of "sacrifice"-that takes place in the kitchen and workplace and on the streets." Hebrews 13:16 The Msg

I am reminded that I must "share what I have with others" and what I have is the Love of Christ. The kitchen, workplace and the streets can be the modern day Jerusalem, Judea, Samaria and ends of the earth. Share what you have...and if you don't have it, let me know - I'd love to share!

Hope

2008-10-07T08:28:00.002-05:00

Ever feel like you have no hope? It seems like everything you have looked forward to has been ripped away - not fast like a band-aid to ease the sting, but slowly, painfully, and it just keeps ripping.

Thankfully, I'm not personally in this season right now, but I know it all too well. We have all experienced this loss of hope at one time or another. How do we get out, when nothing seems fair and all seems lost? Scripture tells us: "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11. The Lord spoke these words through the prophet Jeremiah to His people who were in exile. These people had been forced out of their homes into an unfamiliar territory. They had seemingly lost everything. Their lives were turned upside down and I'm sure they were asking themselves what else could go wrong.

These people had a choice...just like we have a choice. We can allow the enemy to "steal, kill and destroy" our lives by telling us that we have no hope. Or, we can fight back and not allow the trials of life to destroy us. When it seems that all hope is lost, we have to remember that hope can be found, maybe in something as simple as looking forward to lunch with a friend, planning a short hike or a movie night or even picking up a hobby that you haven't done for awhile. Take each day one at a time. Soon enough something bigger than tomorrow will come again and hope will be restored.

Stay steady...persevere...fight back...trust in God...and you will receive victory.

Beauty

2008-10-03T14:03:00.002-05:00

Today is a day filled with beauty. Beauty in the weather that He has prepared for this day; that I have the day off of work; that I get to spend the day with an amazing friend; that life is sweeter today than yesterday!

There are seasons of question and seasons of recognition. Today marks a season of recognition. God's love is beautiful, I recognize it and I am thankful!

Something On My Mind

2008-10-02T12:08:00.002-05:00

Ever have something on your mind that you just can't put into words/print? There are several things rolling around in this brain of mine...posts that I have started but just can't seem to finish. Ideas that keep bouncing around and don't seem to come out in an organized fashion - they make sense in my noggin, but are totally out of control when I try to write.

So what's up with that? Am I not focused enough? Am I giving in to too much distraction? Have I lost the ability to write anything meaningful? (don't answer that one) Or are the ideas just not seasoned enough to roll out onto my fingertips? Hmmm....I'm going with the last one.

So here are 2 of the topics: Evangelism as Multi-Level Marketing; and Jesus Eliminates the Middle Man. Maybe you can see why they're taking some time to germinate and blossom.

So I think I'll just keep sitting on them until "the right time." Meantime, here you are...a blog that has nothing meaningful to say. Hope you don't totally regret the 2 minutes of your life that you lost by reading. :-) If you feel like chiming in on the topics, feel free to comment!

New Day - Volunteer Schedules

2008-09-29T11:07:00.003-05:00

This weekend rocked! We had 110% cast member (volunteer) attendance at the 9:45 service of Sanctuary and 90% attendance at the 11:30 service. Absolutely amazing...and the first of this kind of "show rate" since I began on staff a mere 75 days ago! To what do I attribute this success? First, a volunteer came into our offices last week and placed a personal call to every single cast member. Second, a ton of time on my knees before God. Now, onto next week...

I'm still of the firm belief that serving more than once a month is not only a "good idea," but is actually necessary to make the ministry what God intends it to be...both for the kids and, dare I say it, the cast members. Kids and adults alike thrive in consistent, loving environments. With cast members serving only once a month, does that create a consistent environment?

We have created a culture where no one wants to be inconvenienced, but yet they want to feel needed. A culture where folks want to feel like they have a purpose, a stake in something bigger than themselves, but they don't want to feel "trapped" by commitment. Reality is...we can't have it all without some level of sacrifice.

As I review the schedule for October, I am asking God for the level of commitment that He desires...and the ability for me to push for that commitment from our cast members.

Here's a recent post you might find interesting about this particular subject. http://jabberfrog.com/2008/09/29/maximizing-volunteers/

Detox for the Soul

2008-09-19T19:23:00.002-05:00

Curious - what does Detox for the Soul mean? It came up because it is a "tag line" that we have adopted at Sanctuary. At first, the line confused me...but the more I think about it, the more it is becoming a "vision" that I can grasp. Before I "vamp" on what it means to me, I want to hear from you.

If you are a Christ follower, what does Detox for the Soul mean to you? Chime in!

Exclamation Point

2008-09-15T12:53:00.002-05:00

I love me a good Exclamation Point!! In recent years, I feel like everything I have to say in writing deserves this high form of punctuation - placing emphasis on the preceding string of words as if to say "pay attention because I mean it." But does each and every sentence really have to have that much impact? I don't know...it's a hard question that I have to ask myself.

So here's my answer...My name is Robyn Brinkley and I am an Exclamation Point Addict! I would submit myself to a 12 step program, but frankly, I love my Exclamation Point way too much to give it up! And many times when I sit down to write, it's because I feel God is laying something on me to share, and He deserves such awesome emphasis! (Is one of the signs of an addiction "rationalization?")

So expect to continue to see this weighty punctuation mark in most anything I write, from e-mails and thank you notes to blogs cuz I'm not givin' it up. I'm not really sure why I'm even writing about punctuation right now...but it's kind of fun - and it takes my mind off of my other addiction - tea...I'm out of tea right now, so here come the exclamation points!!!!!

Children's Ministry Internships

2008-09-10T09:08:00.002-05:00

We are looking to develop a children's ministry internship program and I am wondering who of you have implemented such a program. I have a few questions:

What kind of response do you get from colleges - local? out of state?
What is the rate of return - are interns generally interested in future full-time employment with your organization?
Do you feel this is a good avenue for finding future leaders for your church?

It seems to me that so many in children's ministry seem to be "seasoned" and for us to be innovative and prepared for the future, we need an influx of younger, hungrier people with new and edgier ideas. What do you think?

Family Sunday

2008-09-09T16:08:00.002-05:00

Went very well! Kids actually enjoyed being in Big Church - especially getting to surf beach balls throughout the auditorium. Looks like we'll do it again! And...they all came back to Sanctuary Kids this past week, so no fallout!

Family Sunday

2008-08-29T16:33:00.003-05:00

This weekend we are trying out what we are calling "Family Sunday" at Sanctuary. We are inviting our 1st - 5th graders into Big Church with mom and dad. The service will be kid friendly with an extra transition (to combat those focus challenged), worship will be lively and includes songs that the kids are familiar with, and the message will be shortened with the idea of being in and out in 60 minutes or less (we usually run 75 minutes). We have prepared activity sheets to be passed out at the door tailored to the topic of the day - "Would you rather be the seed...or the fruit?"

The whole idea is to promote the family while exposing kids to the "look, feel and smell" of Big Church, in hopes that when they grow up they will always return to what's familiar...the church! In order for this to be most effective, I believe we must be confident enough in our children's program so that after Family Sunday, the kids will return to their own age-appropriate church experience without hesitation while still looking forward to the next Family Sunday.

Here it goes - Beta Test 1.0!

Where Did Time Go?

2008-08-26T07:35:00.003-05:00

Yesterday life as I know it changed completely. The day seemed bright enough and started out as any Monday with staff meetings and a debrief about the weekend's church experience. Then, about 11:00 I received the first text message:

"Can you pick me up during 6th hour?"

My reply: "Why?"

"Because Kyle's mom said the DMV gets really crowded after school, so I want to go early."

Yes, that's right - the Department of Motor Vehicles. Yesterday, my son got his driver's permit. Suddenly, the day wasn't as bright and it certainly wasn't business as usual! Don't get me wrong - I'm very happy for Josh as he passes this milestone in his life. But, it reminded me of my age (it's so cruel that when he gets older, so do I). More importantly, however, it made it clear that the days of hugging, tickling and smooching all over Josh are done. He is closer to manhood today than yesterday and my role as his mother is evolving.

I will hold onto the memories of Josh as a child fondly and try to embrace the new experiences of him as a young "man." A bright side - with his freedom, I gain some freedom. Oh the cruel irony...

What Would You Do?

2008-08-23T20:29:00.002-05:00

I heard a very intriguing story the other day that made me question - What Would I Do? Here's the story (I don't know all of the details, so forgive me if I take "Hollywood liberties" to make the story fit my purposes):

The Mesa campus of a multi-campus church (you can guess which one) had been meeting for quite some time in what I would call a "permanent portable" space. The space was small, but had been modified to fit the growing number of people attending each weekend. One recent Thursday afternoon, a new fire marshall came to inspect the space. No big deal, right? Well, the new fire marshall wasn't as accommodating as previous officials and informed the staff that they were only approved for occupancy of up to 49 people. And, in fact, if even 1 more person occupied that space on Sunday, there would be arrests.

Well, of course there were definitely more than 49 people expected in about 2 days!

I'm going to pause right here to set the stage: As a multi-campus site, there are screens, projectors and satellite equipment to consider, stages, intelligent lighting, band and sound equipment, and that doesn't even account for the children's space. It's Mesa in August, so temperatures are well above 100 degrees, and things like the kid's "moon bounce" literally melt outside. There are only 2 days to figure this out, only 1 actual business day.

Now - What Would YOU do?

How many of us would realize that there's not much that can be done for this weekend, cancel church for just this Sunday and focus on getting a space available for the following weekend? Who could blame us for this decision...really? There's only 1 business day to come up with a solution, and after all, it would be a huge stretch to even get something in place for the next week! I would be willing to bet that the majority of people would take this approach.

How the staff reacted to this adversity is what sets them apart from the majority. They kicked it into high gear, rented tents and cooling equipment and moved it outside. That Sunday, when the officials arrived, there were no laws violated and people were praising God showing that nothing will stop those who really desire to worship Him!

So - What Would You do? When things get tough, are you willing to do what it takes to persevere? Who or what is your "fire marshall?" Maybe it's a family member. Maybe it's coworkers who seem to want to quash your dreams. Maybe it's your financial situation. Call on the strength given to us by our God and show your "fire marshall" that you mean business!

Sanctuary

2008-08-18T17:25:00.003-05:00

When I first heard the new name of our church, I went back to the Disney version of The Hunchback of Notre Dame, where the Hunchback screams out "Sanctuary, Sanctuary." Before getting involved in "the ministry," I remember feeling Sanctuary as a church attender - never wanting to leave the safety within those walls.

We launched the new name and new look this Sunday and it was a huge success! The launch included a totally revamped children's ministry. The place had a buzz about it! In time, we will be able to measure the success through growth...but for now, the only way I can describe it is the place felt "light" and alive instead of the heavy, dull feeling that it had just the week before.

Check out the new Sanctuary Kids logo - I love it and look forward to all that God is going to do through this program and this church! Kuddos to the entire team and incredible volunteers that pulled it all together.

Comfort

2008-08-09T17:10:00.003-05:00

"In the multitude of my anxieties within me, Your comforts delight my soul." Psalm 94:19 NIV

'The minute I said, "I'm slipping, I'm falling," your love, God, took hold and held me fast. When I was upset and beside myself, you calmed me down and cheered me up.' Psalm 94:18-19 Msg

Kids in Big Church

2008-08-08T20:33:00.003-05:00

I have recently been challenged to consider the merit of kids attending church with their parents as a family. Like many people "my age" (whatever that means), I spent many Sundays sitting next to mom and dad in church, trying very hard not to wiggle and fidget, and equally hard not to fall asleep. I can honestly say I don't remember a single sermon. But, I did learn many things that have shaped my Christian walk today:

How to use a hymnal and the difference between it and the Bible;
That pews are very uncomfortable - especially the ones without padding;
That the pastor always has 3 points;
All of the words to "Come Just As You Are;"
That lunch after church is always crowded, but extra tasty.
Sorry - okay, seriously I learned: What it means to worship God through song, prayer and the occasional "responsive reading;"
Respect for those around me as they may be worshipping differently than me;
Respect for Scripture as it is read aloud and studied;
The power of the family all believing in Christ together as we discussed the sermon during the extra tasty lunch at the local pancake house.

What I didn't learn in "Big Church" was how the foundational principles of faith in Christ could be applied to me as a child.

As a Children's Pastor, my main mission is to do everything possible to bring children to Christ by first laying the foundational principles of God's love as evidenced by His son's life, death and resurrection...THEN teach them how to apply these principles now and for the rest of their lives. I believe to do this effectively we must have an engaging, relevant, age-appropriate service each and every week.

But, are we sacrificing some of the importance of family in ministry together? Maybe a little - but I still believe kids in Big Church each week is not the answer. However, I'm opening up to a new possibility - offering a "family friendly" service once a quarter where kids age 3 and up attend Big Church with mom and dad - giving kids a chance to hear, see, smell and feel what it means to share the experience of God with the entire family. The conversations at the local IHOP may change a bit, but the difference will likely be seen years later when these kids have children of their own and are as engaged in church as they were when they were kids...because they know what to expect.

What do you think?

Question

2008-08-04T12:55:00.003-05:00

Want to hear your thoughts on this - please post your comment!

Do you prefer a church service that is "roughly" 1 hour, with room for the Holy Spirit to "move" within worship or the message? Or, do you prefer a predictable church service that starts on time and always ends on time, where worship and the message do not vary in length from week to week?

If you prefer a more "rigid" service that lasts exactly 1 hour each week, do you feel this gives the Holy Spirit time to move or are we putting "Him" in a box?

I can argue either way - just wondering what you think.

Something Bigger than Myself

2008-08-02T20:34:00.002-05:00

We hear all the time that we need to be involved in something "bigger than ourselves." This is a great way to sum up being in ministry and sounds so noble...so honorable. But the truth is, it is really really hard! Sometimes I just want to be myself, not something bigger. Sometimes I just want to sink into my fuzzy couch and tune the rest of the world totally out. Tonight is one of those times!

Truth is - God's calling for my life is much larger than I ever expected. Tonight I am looking for God's strength, energy, clarity, focus and His love. Tonight is a "valley" time, and I know that He will pull me out of this valley and I will soon be once again on the mountain top. Thankfully, there are two good things about being in the valley - first, there's no place but up; second, I can't rely on myself to climb out - I am forced to put my total trust, faith and hope in God.

Albeit difficult, the valley is a good place to be...really? I mean...really. "Open up before God, keep nothing back; he'll do whatever needs to be done; He'll validate your life in the clear light of day and stamp you with approval at high noon." Psalms 37:5-8 Msg.