Day 8 - and today's theme seems to be Focus, Focus, Focus. Our staff team is currently reading Celebration of Discipline by Richard J. Foster and, at staff meeting, I am to talk about the first two inward disciplines - meditation and prayer. As I read through the pages, my mind seemed to wander constantly - thinking about the myriad of things that need to be accomplished. Laundry, dishes, Sunday reports, the list goes on and on. But God was trying to teach me something - Focus!
Meditation requires focus - prayer requires focus - life requires focus. But how? My mind is racing like a million electrical circuits, all firing at the same time giving energy to all of the life around me - if I focus on only one circuit, how will everything around me have electricity? The laundry, dishes, reports, meetings - how will it all get done?
Focus.
Focus..
Focus...
Focus on Him who gives me strength. On Him who gives me life. On Him who is my provider. On Him who is my sustainer. On Him who is my very creator.
Fasting is about denying myself something, relying on God to give me what I need, and then allowing Him to reveal Himself to me in a real way. Fasting requries focus. Actually, fasting perpetuates focus. As I hunger and yearn for the cheesy goodness of an omelette, as I salivate over the pizza commercials, I can't help but turn my thoughts over to Him.
Today, I am asking Him to turn off all of the unnecessary electric circuits - the distractions - in my brain so that I may focus on the things that please Him. I am simply asking Him to allow me to Focus.
And to remove all pizza commercials from television for the next two weeks...is that too much to ask?
Monday, January 10, 2011
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Farming part Deux
More about farming today. As I was reading yesterday, God showed me the following scripture:
There's a recurring theme as I enter into Day 5 - people. When I salivate over the scrumptuous delights portrayed on my television screen, as I yearn for yummy meals all around me, as my stomach growls, it is becoming easier to turn my focus on God's desire to reach His people and provide for them the food and water of life.
I'm looking at people differently today - no, I'm not envisioning them as a large piece of pepperoni pizza - I'm more clearly seeing them as children of God, ready to be harvested into His Kingdom. And it is good...it is good indeed!
"My food," said Jesus, "is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work. Don't you have a saying, 'it's still four months until harvest'? I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest. John 4:34-35While I fast from certain foods, I recognize that my real food "is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work." And as I noted yesterday, the work is all about his people.
There's a recurring theme as I enter into Day 5 - people. When I salivate over the scrumptuous delights portrayed on my television screen, as I yearn for yummy meals all around me, as my stomach growls, it is becoming easier to turn my focus on God's desire to reach His people and provide for them the food and water of life.
I'm looking at people differently today - no, I'm not envisioning them as a large piece of pepperoni pizza - I'm more clearly seeing them as children of God, ready to be harvested into His Kingdom. And it is good...it is good indeed!
Farming and Administration
How do farming and administration fit together? Well, you'll see. As an administrative pastor, I spend each day handling administrative tasks that help run our church office and also prepare us for the weekend. Ordering supplies, scheduling volunteers, managing budgets...there are numerous tasks that must be completed before each Sunday's services. Sometimes I get so caught up in these tasks that I forget the reason they're necessary - for the people.
Hitting Day 4 of the Fast, God is beginning to really stir my soul. He's showing me that although what I do on a daily basis is "behind the scenes" and sometimes mundane, it has eternal significance. It's not unlike a farmer who must ready the soil with the proper nutrients, plant the seeds, protect the plants from pests, and then harvest the crop. The farmer does months of prep work before he ever gets to reap the harvest from even one plant.
The farmer lives for the harvest. And just like the farmer, I live for the harvest of people - to see their lives changed each and every week. Luckily for me, my prep work is only a week long - I don't have to wait as long as the farmer to see the harvest. Each and every Sunday, I get to see first hand God's harvest after I've readied the soil - after I've done the prep work according to His will.
So if you ask me what I do during the week? Well, I farm. And on Sundays, I get to pull out the combine and reap God's harvest. So, if you see me on my combine in the church lobby, climb aboard! I'd love for you to farm with me!
Hitting Day 4 of the Fast, God is beginning to really stir my soul. He's showing me that although what I do on a daily basis is "behind the scenes" and sometimes mundane, it has eternal significance. It's not unlike a farmer who must ready the soil with the proper nutrients, plant the seeds, protect the plants from pests, and then harvest the crop. The farmer does months of prep work before he ever gets to reap the harvest from even one plant.
The farmer lives for the harvest. And just like the farmer, I live for the harvest of people - to see their lives changed each and every week. Luckily for me, my prep work is only a week long - I don't have to wait as long as the farmer to see the harvest. Each and every Sunday, I get to see first hand God's harvest after I've readied the soil - after I've done the prep work according to His will.
So if you ask me what I do during the week? Well, I farm. And on Sundays, I get to pull out the combine and reap God's harvest. So, if you see me on my combine in the church lobby, climb aboard! I'd love for you to farm with me!
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Not Tempted - But Tested
With obedience and vulnerability sometimes comes testing. My reason for fasting is multi-faceted - to be obedient to the calling of our senior pastor who has called our church to fast; to be obedient to God who has demonstrated fasting in his followers in many instances throughout the Bible; and the most important, to become closer to my Savior! Any time we seek after God with all of our hearts, we cause a real threat to the enemy - and his desire is to bring us down.
Yesterday, my son called on his way to school and his truck is having problems. It's the transmission. Anyone who knows anything about cars knows that transmission problems are extremely expensive. And, like many families, we do not have the kind of money necessary to replace the transmission. This morning I'm going to try to drive it to a repair shop and see if we can get an estimate. I am praying fervently that God miraculously heals the truck on my way to the repair shop, or at a very minimum, causes the repair to be inexpensive. Unfortunately, we live in a town that has little or no mass transportation, and my son has to get from one school to another, and then to work each day - so a vehicle is necessary. To many this may sound like a mere inconvenience, but for me being a single mom, it's a bit bigger.
We all face many trials, some more than others, and perservere. This is no exception - we will get through this one. We will not let the enemy win and bring us down. We will call on the one true living God to take care of us. He will provide the solution. And we will praise Him that He has given us the truck to begin with.
And, if you see me on the road driving a beat up 1990 GMC Sierra pickup, wave. But forgive me if I don't wave back through the dark tinted windows - I'll probably be distracted because I'll be gettin' my "G" lean on and rockin' out with the stereo cranked - may as well take advantage of the amazing sound system and pretend I'm a teenager again!
Yesterday, my son called on his way to school and his truck is having problems. It's the transmission. Anyone who knows anything about cars knows that transmission problems are extremely expensive. And, like many families, we do not have the kind of money necessary to replace the transmission. This morning I'm going to try to drive it to a repair shop and see if we can get an estimate. I am praying fervently that God miraculously heals the truck on my way to the repair shop, or at a very minimum, causes the repair to be inexpensive. Unfortunately, we live in a town that has little or no mass transportation, and my son has to get from one school to another, and then to work each day - so a vehicle is necessary. To many this may sound like a mere inconvenience, but for me being a single mom, it's a bit bigger.
We all face many trials, some more than others, and perservere. This is no exception - we will get through this one. We will not let the enemy win and bring us down. We will call on the one true living God to take care of us. He will provide the solution. And we will praise Him that He has given us the truck to begin with.
And, if you see me on the road driving a beat up 1990 GMC Sierra pickup, wave. But forgive me if I don't wave back through the dark tinted windows - I'll probably be distracted because I'll be gettin' my "G" lean on and rockin' out with the stereo cranked - may as well take advantage of the amazing sound system and pretend I'm a teenager again!
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Day 2
So far, my commitment to writing more often has stuck. Granted, it's only Day 2...but I'm holding out hope!
Yesterday went fairly well overall - with one exception. My sweet 17-yr old son wanted to take me out to dinner - to Cheesecake Factory! I initially told him no, that I'm on this fast and can't really eat anything (at least not anything worthwhile at such a temple of temptation - I mean really, the place should just be built as a gingerbread house covered in candy). But I heard a true disappointment in my son's voice as I uttered the words "fast" and "I can't eat anything there."
So, I figured I'd take one for the team - go to Cheesecake Factory and see what I could possibly eat - and spend some quality time with my son. I figured I would have to ask them to steam some veggies for me, or whip up some kind of fruit plate, but I was pleasantly surprised - they had fresh made guacomole (which meant all veggies, no preservatives or additivies).
I was able to stick with my commitment to God to forego any delectable delight (although my son tried to tempt me with a bite of his red velvet cheesecake). And as an added bonus - I demonstrated to my son what it means to commit your life, and your inconveniences, to God...and stick to it.
Just so you know, I am praying fervently that my son doesn't want to try another restaurant in the next 19 days because I'm afraid I won't be as strong! Lord, hear my prayer.
Yesterday went fairly well overall - with one exception. My sweet 17-yr old son wanted to take me out to dinner - to Cheesecake Factory! I initially told him no, that I'm on this fast and can't really eat anything (at least not anything worthwhile at such a temple of temptation - I mean really, the place should just be built as a gingerbread house covered in candy). But I heard a true disappointment in my son's voice as I uttered the words "fast" and "I can't eat anything there."
So, I figured I'd take one for the team - go to Cheesecake Factory and see what I could possibly eat - and spend some quality time with my son. I figured I would have to ask them to steam some veggies for me, or whip up some kind of fruit plate, but I was pleasantly surprised - they had fresh made guacomole (which meant all veggies, no preservatives or additivies).
I was able to stick with my commitment to God to forego any delectable delight (although my son tried to tempt me with a bite of his red velvet cheesecake). And as an added bonus - I demonstrated to my son what it means to commit your life, and your inconveniences, to God...and stick to it.
Just so you know, I am praying fervently that my son doesn't want to try another restaurant in the next 19 days because I'm afraid I won't be as strong! Lord, hear my prayer.
Monday, January 3, 2011
21 Day Fast
Today begins a 21 Day Fast. Our senior pastor, Craig Groeschel of LifeChurch.tv, called the church to begin a 21 day fast. (I've actually heard from several people at different churches that their pastors are also calling for a fast - I absolutely LOVE how God brings the church together.) As I begin this journey, one of my goals is to begin writing more consistently - so here it goes.
This morning, I read Day 1 of the 21 Day Fast Reading Plan on YouVersion.com. As part of the reading, it suggested that I write what specific clarity or vision I desire from God during this journey. As I began to write, I realized how inconvenient this fast is for me, and how I'd really rather not give up cheese and butter, even if it's for God and His church.
Once I got past my selfishness, I began to journal the areas where I'm seeking God's clarity. This list was long. So very long. You see, if I were truly seeking God with all my heart, mind, and passion daily - if I truly give everything to God and give up my own conveniences - the way He desires - daily - then maybe the list would say something like "World Peace," or "For Jesus to come and Rapture His Church." But, I'm a flawed human being, a selfish sinner...and so my list is long.
Today, I will focus on being inconvenienced for God - the author and finisher of my faith - my provider - my counselor - my Father - my Creator. And I will pray over my long list, and pray that He looks down on this selfish sin-filled human being and gives me strength and determination to focus on Him and not on my inconveniences.
This morning, I read Day 1 of the 21 Day Fast Reading Plan on YouVersion.com. As part of the reading, it suggested that I write what specific clarity or vision I desire from God during this journey. As I began to write, I realized how inconvenient this fast is for me, and how I'd really rather not give up cheese and butter, even if it's for God and His church.
Once I got past my selfishness, I began to journal the areas where I'm seeking God's clarity. This list was long. So very long. You see, if I were truly seeking God with all my heart, mind, and passion daily - if I truly give everything to God and give up my own conveniences - the way He desires - daily - then maybe the list would say something like "World Peace," or "For Jesus to come and Rapture His Church." But, I'm a flawed human being, a selfish sinner...and so my list is long.
Today, I will focus on being inconvenienced for God - the author and finisher of my faith - my provider - my counselor - my Father - my Creator. And I will pray over my long list, and pray that He looks down on this selfish sin-filled human being and gives me strength and determination to focus on Him and not on my inconveniences.
Friday, December 3, 2010
Messed Up
I am totally messed up today! Life is spiraling around me faster than ever, and yet I feel like I'm moving in slow motion. I just read an article on Messy Canvas titled "Tired of Being a Christian," and it resonated strongly in my mind and heart. Here's the link to the article: Messy Canvas.
Lately, I've struggled with expectations...expectations of those in authority over me, of friends, of coworkers, of family...but mostly expectations that I impose on myself. I've expected myself to be a "leader of leaders," to be the "strong one," and to be the one that "has it all together." But truth is...I'm failing. And failure is painful.
As I read Messy Canvas' article, I realize that maybe the only failure is that the expectations are misguided. While I expect myself to be a "leader of leaders," is that what God expects of me? Does He expect me to be the strong one? Does He expect me to have it all together? I'm realizing that those expectations, those qualities, are actually qualities of God himself! And who am I to think I can be God?
I've realized that while it's honorable to be a "leader of leaders," God has actually called me, at this season of time, to be a "leader of doers." There is much work to be done, and it seems He has skilled me to not only get it done, but empower those around me to engage in the work of His Kingdom as well.
While it's honorable to be the strong one, He is showing me that it is His strength, not my own.
While it's honorable to have it all together, I am only one part of the Body of Christ, and without Him and without the others that make up the body, it is impossible to be "all together."
He is calling me to reflect Him, not to BE Him. By trying to live up to any expectations other than those that God has imposed, I am essentially trying to be God.
And...I...am...not...God!
So, I think I'm going to remove the word Pastor from my title, and change it to Doer. Doer of God's work..whatever that looks like, whoever that impacts, however that expands His Kingdom. So don't expect much from me...but expect much from God in me.
Lately, I've struggled with expectations...expectations of those in authority over me, of friends, of coworkers, of family...but mostly expectations that I impose on myself. I've expected myself to be a "leader of leaders," to be the "strong one," and to be the one that "has it all together." But truth is...I'm failing. And failure is painful.
As I read Messy Canvas' article, I realize that maybe the only failure is that the expectations are misguided. While I expect myself to be a "leader of leaders," is that what God expects of me? Does He expect me to be the strong one? Does He expect me to have it all together? I'm realizing that those expectations, those qualities, are actually qualities of God himself! And who am I to think I can be God?
I've realized that while it's honorable to be a "leader of leaders," God has actually called me, at this season of time, to be a "leader of doers." There is much work to be done, and it seems He has skilled me to not only get it done, but empower those around me to engage in the work of His Kingdom as well.
While it's honorable to be the strong one, He is showing me that it is His strength, not my own.
While it's honorable to have it all together, I am only one part of the Body of Christ, and without Him and without the others that make up the body, it is impossible to be "all together."
He is calling me to reflect Him, not to BE Him. By trying to live up to any expectations other than those that God has imposed, I am essentially trying to be God.
And...I...am...not...God!
So, I think I'm going to remove the word Pastor from my title, and change it to Doer. Doer of God's work..whatever that looks like, whoever that impacts, however that expands His Kingdom. So don't expect much from me...but expect much from God in me.
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