I have once again been contemplating "why" - why does God create in me one thing, and then seemingly change His mind? Why does it seem like He's changing His mind only with me and not those closest to me? Why does He surround me with incredible people, with varying degrees of closeness, but yet I sometimes still feel so alone?

While my questions still stand, I was reminded of something today when I was reading a blog post from a friend, Kendra http://swerve.lifechurch.tv/2009/02/02/guest-kendra-golden/. God has a perfect plan - He shares His vision as He deems necessary, and He has a goal.

The LORD answered me and said, “Record the vision and inscribe it on
tablets, that the one who reads it may run. For the vision is yet for the
appointed time; it hastens toward the goal and it will not fail. Though it
tarries, wait for it; for it will certainly come, it will not delay.” Habakkuk
2:2-3 NASBish

His goal for me, for my relationships, for my ministry is written on a "tablet" to be revealed at the appointed time. Even though it is hard - I wait for it, and as it is revealed, I will run with it.

Another thing struck me reading this post - the people He has assembled and surrounded me with are part of the purpose. Even when relationships don't make sense, they're part of the overall goal, part of the vision.

Though I may question Why, I do not question Who. I love the Lord my God with all my heart, my soul, my mind and my strength. I have seen part of the "tablets" and have faith that He will continue to reveal appropriate pieces at the appointed time. He will answer the questions Why when ready.