Remembering

I added a new devotion today Remembering All God Has Done to my reading.  It's a simple, 5-day devotion that highlights some of God's activities in history in an effort to cause us to reflect on His activities in our lives.

Today's reading in Joshua 4:1-24 was about how Joshua lead the Israelites acros the Jordan river - halting the river's flow so that the Israelites could cross on dry land.  God instructed Joshua to bring 12 stones, each representing the 12 tribes, with them.  Upon reaching the other side of the river, they were to place the 12 stones as a rememberance to God's faithfulness in leading the Israelites out of slavery and into freedom in the land promised to them many years prior.  There are so many elements of this story that are absolutely amazing - but today it helped me to think about my life - the pebbles, stones, and boulders of God's miraculous activity.

Like Joshua's history, mine is filled with so many God-movements that to tell them all would be a book, not a blog - so I'll spare you all of the details and do what I do so often - provide bullet points:

• Salvation at age 11.
• Church camp at age 14 in Chama, New Mexico (this is a funny story) - truly recognized the Holy Spirit for the first time.
• Protected me from drugs although they were circling around me.
• Birth of my son in 1993.
• Recommitted my life in 2000.
• Healed me completely from a catastrophic and life-threatening illness in 2005.
• Delivered me into ministry as a vocation in 2005.
• Allowed me to minister to hundreds upon hundreds of people for the past 6 years.
• Given me daily breath, food, health, shelter, family and friends.
• Daily wrapped His arms around me, gently guiding me to seek His best!

Today, I prayed a "sun stand still" prayer and as I did so, it brought a smile to my face.  I truly believe God will answer this prayer in the timing necessary.  And once He does, it will open up the rest of my life for what He has called me to do.  Stay tuned - we are walking across the river on dry ground and God is meeting on the other side!

Special Olympics and Bocce Ball

Last week I spent two days helping a friend manage the bocce ball competition at the Special Olympics.  My role was to assist with registration and with running the competition brackets.  I was thrilled to spend a few days outside, to meet new people, and to learn a new sport.  Truly, I wasn't sure what to expect.  While I'm still trying to sort out how Special Olympics may fit into my future (and I believe it does), I thought I'd share what I learned:

• First, how to effectively (not necessarily efficiently) run a bracket - okay, numerous brackets as we had 10 competitions at one time.  I'd never run a bracket before - so this was a first!
• Bocce seems like it should be laid back, but in fact, it can be quite competitive.
• Bocce isn't just for old people and cruise ships.
• Athletes want their brackets updated pronto!

More serious things I learned:

• Special Olympics athletes, coaches and volunteers are some of the most gracious people I have ever met.
• The athletes don't care what position they place, only that they are allowed to play the game and are recognized for their achievement.
• Every person created by God is perfect, we just have different gifts, skills and abilities.
• Ministry could learn a lot from the Special Olympics.

I walked away this Saturday absolutely in love with the athletes and what this organization does for them!  I have to say, I'm a bit frustrated with myself that, in my ministry (and frankly, within my church) I have generally focused on the able-bodied and "average" minded, without consideration for those perfect children with different abilities.  I'm not sure how to reconcile this in my mind, but I do know one thing for certain - God has given me a unique ability to see directly into the hearts of these special people and past their disabilities.  This is a gift that I intend to continue to explore, nurture, and see where it leads. 

So, expect to hear more about my adventures with Special Olympics.  In the meantime, I'm still on the job search, so please continue to pray as I seek God's direction for my life and my family!

If Mary Can Do It...

Today I came across another amazing Bible reading plan on YouVersion - 21 Day Plan for Busy Women: A Rich and Satisfying Life.  I figured I'm a busy woman (although not as busy lately), I've got 21 days, I want to live a rich and satisfying life, so I'm giving it a shot.  So far, good call! 

Today's reading is about Mary.  You probably know the story, an angel came to Mary told her she was going to give birth to a son and that son was going to be the savior of the world.  If you've ever been to a Christmas or Easter church service, then you've heard this story.  It's been told so many times, and at least here in the United States, the "scene" of Mary, Joseph and Jesus in the manger is as familiar as the tagline for Wal Mart - Save Money. Live Better.  But Mary's story is obviously so much more than the nativity scene.

In Luke 1:26-55, the angel appears to Mary and tells her what God is going to do.  We don't really see how difficult it is for Mary to grasp the impact of what she's hearing, the writer only expressed that Mary was afraid of the angel, not of the message he was delivering.  Instead, Mary says:  "I am the Lord's servant...May your word to me be fulfilled." Luke 1:38.

Can you imagine - an angel appears (now this alone would freak me plum out) and tells you that you're going to be pregnant but remain a virgin, you get the pleasure of telling your boyfriend and convincing him you didn't cheat with another guy, all your friends are going to do the math and figure out that you weren't married when you got pregnant, oh, and, you get to raise the Son of God.  Now, I don't know about you, but I think I would be overwhelmed with anxiety.  Pregnancy and being a mom is a difficult gig, but to face Joseph and the rest of the world and then to raise the Son of the Most High? 

But here's what Mary says:

"My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has been mindful of the humble state of his servant.  From now on all generations will call me blessed, for the Mighty One has done great things for me—holy is his name." Luke 1:46-49

Mary is facing total uncertainty.  Her young life has been altered in a way that will affect eternity. 

Because of her faithfulness to allow God to work through her, I am who I am today.

Mary made herself available, she recognized and embraced her calling and God fulfilled His promise.  So, as I am waiting for God to share with me His plans for my future, one thing is certain...if Mary can do it, so can I! 

What about you - are you waiting for God to move in your life?  Do you find strength in Mary's story?

Perspective - Sunrise? or Sunset?

Many posts back I shared that two people had prophesied over me that change was coming, and it was going to be good.  I had my own candy-coated idea of what that meant - that there would be some new way for me to reach people in my current role, but God had his own idea.  Yesterday we announced that I would be stepping off the LifeChurch.tv team effective March 31.  I'm not sure what the next chapter will be, but God shared with me a lesson on perspective that I'd like to share with you.

Think about a picture of the sun on the horizon - a bright yellow ball hovering slightly above the earth.  Its rays are piercing the expanse of sky all around creating hues of radiant color.  Is the sun rising?  Is the sun setting?  We don't really know - all we see is beauty, power and radiance.  It's a matter of our perspective as to whether we see it as a sunrise or a sunset. Sunrise means the dawn of a new day.  Sunset means the day has come to an end. 

While I was thinking about the visual that God created for me in this mind picture, I began to think about the significance of the sun itself.  Because it gives us light during the day, we tend to "measure" things by its brightness, "it shines as bright as the sun" is an example.  I began searching through scripture to see what God said about the sun.  Of course, He created the sun when He said "Let there be light" in Genesis 1:3, but I wanted to find more on its significance.  I was stopped by two passages:

"The sun will no more be your light by day, nor will the brightness of the moon shine on you, for the LORD will be your everlasting light, and your God will be your glory."  Isaiah 60:19

"There will be no more night. They will not need the light of a lamp or the light of the sun, for the Lord God will give them light. And they will reign for ever and ever." Revelation 22:5 

My perspective about the sun on the horizon totally changed.  It's not about the sun, or the horizon, it's about faith.  Faith that my God is my everlasting light, that He will be my glory, that it will not matter whether the sun is setting or whether it is rising - that God will give me the light necessary to shine no matter what the future brings.

Although the sun is setting on my ministry through LifeChurch.tv, it is rising on a new season of life.  And through it all, God will shine and the light will never go out.  I love a good sunrise, and I equally love a brilliant sunset, but I will now look at them through the lens of faith.

What about you?  Are you facing uncertainty?  If so, do not focus on your perspective but instead turn to God.  Allow Him to shine through you and He will give you all you need.  After all, He created the sun...

Lent - What?

Today is the first day of Lent.  Some of you have been practicing the tradition of lent all of your lives, some of you, like me, only recently learned what Lent was all about.  When I was growing up in the Baptist church, the only thing I knew about Lent was: (1) that my Catholic friends couldn't eat meat on Fridays so the school cafeteria prepared some awful looking (and smelling) fish, and (2) said Catholic friends had to give up something they enjoyed - like candy or soda pop.  I didn't understand, and frankly, I don't think many of my young friends understand what they were doing either.  It was tradition - something handed down to them from generation to generation - so they particiapted as well.

Lent is actually a period of 40 days (plus Sundays) prior to Easter where we observe the ministry of Jesus Christ, his death, and end on the celebration of his resurrection. 

Easter! No matter what your religious background, if you are a Christ-follower, Easter is the day you set aside to celebrate the foundation upon which we build our faith - the fulfillment of God's saving grace - "...while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."  Romans 5:8

The purpose of today's blog isn't to tell you to fast something for the next 47 days, or to suggest you only eat fish on Fridays.  The purpose is to ask you to set aside some time between now and Easter to reflect on what God did for us by sending His son, Jesus Christ, to this earth to live, minister, die and be raised from the dead.  This isn't just a good story - it is the miracle that happened so that each of us has the opportunity to be saved from our sin and spend life eternal with the creator of the universe.

To help you, YouVersion has added a couple of Reading Plans for Lent.  My favorite is Lent for Everyone.  Grab your tea (or coffee, if you must), sit back and read how God redeemed us through His son Jesus Christ.  Enjoy!

We Serve a God!

Each Sunday, we pull all of the people who serve on the Host Team at LifeChurch.tv Owasso together for a team huddle.  This Sunday we talked about Excellence - one of the Core Values at LifeChurch.tv.  We shared with the team two things:

Excellence is when PASSION meets PRECISION.  When you are passionate, you will seek out precision.

We don't work for a CHURCH, we serve a GOD!

At LifeChurch.tv Owasso, we empty two tractor trailers and set up church in an elementary school every Saturday evening, then repack into the trailers every Sunday afternoon.  Sometimes we do this with 30 people, sometimes there are only 12 or 13 - but we get it done every single week.  And everyone involved is passionate and we do it with precision.  Why?  Because we serve a GOD!  Some days go smoothly, some not so much.  This past Sunday, we had a list of "issues" to overcome - but we did - and we were passionate and strived for precision.  Why?  Because we serve a GOD!  Our Servant Leaders face all of the same life challenges as everyone else (and some have more than their fair share of difficulties), but they show up every weekend with passion, serving with precision.  Why?  Because we serve a GOD!

And not just a god - THE GOD!

And then ... we get to see God work - 13 people gave their lives to Christ this Sunday, 20 people baptized last week, with over 700 baptized throughout all of the LifeChurch.tv campuses.  A grandmother was united with her grandchildren this past week.  A lady praying for financial help not only kept her job after 19 people were let go by her employer, but also received additional hours at work.  A father is granted his request for protection for his son when he visits his abusive mother, and the son's desire to be at church every time possible is bringing his father closer to God.  A family with special needs children is now able to go to church because servant leaders have stepped up to help her family - and now, they get to have a "date night" every Sunday evening because someone is willing to watch their children for free.  A couple driving by the church stopped and asked one of our Parkers what was going on - after finding out, they said they had been looking for a church and will be back. 

Marriages are being restored, family relationships strengthened, people are being healed.  People are praying for one another like I've never seen before. Children and adults alike are hearing about the saving grace of Jesus Christ - and they are responding.  You can feel the "agape" love when you walk through the doors.

We are passionate.  We are precise.  We don't work for a Church - we serve a GOD - THE GOD!

Mornings and Nonsense

I am not a fan of getting up early.  I prefer sleeping the way God intended - until the sun comes up.  I believe that the enemy actually created the alarm clock, and we were eager to adopt the evil little thing so that we could "get more hours in the day."  Now if I could only convince the rest of the civilized world of my point of view.

When I have to get up earlier than usual, it messes with me in so many ways.  Besides being tired, it changes my routine.  My Bible reading time isn't quite the same, and definitely my blogging suffers.

So here's my blog - it's just a bunch of nonsense about mornings...Because I had to get up early this morning.

Lessons from Laser Tag

Our team works hard, and sometimes we get to play hard.  Yesterday we played laser tag together.  Now, I already knew this would be a challenge for me (I was a laser tag virgin before yesterday).  I've recently learned how to shoot a handgun at a target and did fairly well.  I also recently learned how to shoot a shotgun at a moving target - and let's just say I need more practice.  Since in laser tag, people move around, I had flashbacks of clay disks flying through the air and landing untouched by my shotgun shells.

I had every reason to be concerned - the first round, I was last, but my score did break 100.  The second round we paired up and thankfully I picked the best teammate; however, once again, my score was the worst - and this time, it was only 29.  Wow - if that doesn't make you feel like a loser!  Luckily for me, my teammate carried us and we WON!

Here's what I learned yesterday:

• Never trust a little kid with a laser gun - they like following you around just so they can see the pretty lights go out every time they shoot you.
• LifeChurch.tv staff members are, by their very nature, competitive.  Which means you can't trust them either.  They like to hide in high places and seek you out.  I think some of them were military trained. 
• Rules?  What rules?  Cover your laser pack with anything you can to keep from getting shot.
• I am a jack of all trades but master of none - I can play, but there's no chance that I'll be mastering laser tag in this lifetime.
• Scripture is true - I'm running out of time this morning, so I'll look up the scripture reference and post it later - but there's scripture about the least being first.  I had the worst score, but because I teamed up with the best player, we won first place.  This is true in life as well - team up with the best - Jesus Christ, and you will always win the race.

Corner of the Roof

Sometimes scripture just cracks me up.  Example:

"Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife."  Proverbs 21:9

I don't know about you, but this automatically gives me a visual of a guy crouched in a fetal position on a high-pitched roof, rocking back and forth.

And another one:

"Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife." Proverbs 21:19

Visual here - guy walking through a dessert, clothes ripped and torn, lips parched, and head-to-toe sunburned.  Not as funny, unless you are twisted like me and visualize a guy who's definitely not the "survivor" type and who didn't pack any water, sack lunch, lip balm or sunscreen when he escaped the house.

Scripture can have humor...but after we smile, we need to consider God's meaning.  First and foremost - I don't believe God is directing anyone to hide on the roof or wander the desert because their spouse is argumentative.  Just the shear nature of having a relationship with another person is going to lead to quarrels - we're human and we all have opinions.  Sometimes those opinions differ, and an argument may ensue. 

What I believe scripture is telling us is simple - dont' argue for the sake of arguing.  While each of us has an opinion, we need to consider that our opinion is no more important (or even right) than another person's.  We must put others first...which includes our spouse.  How can there be any satisfaction out of a relationship full of constant quarreling and nagging?  Being right all of the time may bring some level of satisfaction, but it will eventually bring something else - loneliness (and likely ulcers)!

So, if you see your husband (or wife) dragging the ladder out of the garage to the roof after an argument, you may want to reconsider your position.  Instead of plotting how to hide the ladder after he's on the roof giving him no escape plan, make the decision to hold your tongue, think about your spouse's opinions, and swallow your pride.  Before engaging in a fight in the future...think of how much more satisfying it is to have a peaceful house. 

And as an added bonus, the neighbors will stop calling the police about the crazy guy sleeping on the roof.

It's Here - 18

Yep - it's here.  Josh turns 18 today.  I cleared the day and evening for him - And, it is obvious that I am way more excited than he is.  What's he doing right now?  Sleeping!  His gift and card are sitting in the living room, taunting me, all while Josh slumbers in his room.  Doesn't he know it's a big day for me too?  Just kidding (okay, not really)!

Here are a few attributes that make Josh so special:

• Emerald green eyes.
• Thick hair (I prayed for his hair before he was born - genetics called for extremely thin and receding hair - thank you God).
• Incredible smile.
• Quick wit.
• Teases me mercilessly.
• Can easily pick me up off the floor.
• Gives the best hugs.
• Can fix anything, whether or not he has the proper tools.
• Very good shot.
• Excellent bass fisherman.
• Appreciates the outdoors.
• Protective.
• Loyal to his friends and family.
• Kind.
• Genuine.
• Truthful.
• Loves God.
• Loves his family.

Eighteen years have passed and I'm certain there are many more ahead.  While I am excited about Josh's history, I am far more excited about his future.  He has incredible potential, and the opportunities are endless.  I can hardly wait to see God's plans, and how they unfold.

So, if you see him at the Bixby Chick-Fil-A in the near future, wish him a Happy Birthday.  But please, don't tell him his mom asked you to - he's still embarrassed by me.  At what age does THAT end?

Reflections - Day 4 - Almost Here

Seventeen - in a few short hours, will become 18.  At 12:00, Josh becomes a man because of a number.  Tomorrow morning, at little after 10:00, it will have been 18 years since I gave birth to a perfect little boy.  6570 days of life.  Just numbers...but they measure a part of history.  Here are a few numbers I remember:

2/18/1993
7 lb 8 oz

1st step
1st word
1st time he walked away from me in a store
1st bike
1st day of school
1st jump out of a barn hay loft
1st trip to the hospital for jumping out of the barn hay loft

13 years of school so far
1 night school
2 car accidents
1 speeding ticket
1 job

18 years of making me proud.

Reflections - Day 3

Two more days and Josh will be 18.  Today, God is reminding me of several scriptures which I have spoken to Josh and prayed over him countless times:

"Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6 (KJV)

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

"Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and he will establish your plans." Proverbs 16:3 (NIV)

As a mother, I want the best for my child, and the best is what God wants - God's plans for Josh's life.  So I began praying these scriptures early in his life.

At 18, Josh doesn't have the slightest clue what his future looks like.  His plans currently consist of saving for a newer truck, applying for college, and finishing high school.  Overall, short-term goals that will move him toward long-term results.  But God has plans - BIG plans - lifelong plans - for Josh. 

As his mother, my largest responsibilities have been to teach him about God, lead him to understand his personal savior in Jesus Christ, to love people, to understand grace and to have faith.  (Also teach him how to cook, do laundry, clean his bathroom, etc. - his future wife will thank me - but I digress).  In short, establish his beliefs and lay the moral and ethical foundation upon which the rest of his life will be built.

I pray that I have trained Josh up in the way that he should go, so that in the end, Josh will not depart from it.  God has promised that if I do my part, He will do the rest.  Josh's plans are already established - and I can hardly wait to see what they are.

Reflections - Day 2

Today's reflection is on adventure.  Joshua is adventurous, yet practical - truly a mirror reflection of me who is practical with a sense of adventure.  I sometimes wish I were adventurous first, and thankfully as I get older my sense of adventure is becoming more prevalent.  Maybe it's true that you revert back to your childhood tendencies as you age.

When Josh was growing up we had all the toys - a boat, Sky Ski, 4-wheelers, go-cart.  Josh particularly enjoyed the 4-wheelers.  He had a mini-Raptor and we would take him and his buddy Kyle out to Appalachia Bay and other places so he could ride.  He loved it! He was in his element when all four wheels were off the ground.  That's my boy!

As I reflect, I remember often being nervous as I watched him jump his mini-Raptor, or as he learned to BMX and did tricks in the air.  Nervous wasn't the word - it was more like terrified.  Fear of him getting hurt was sometimes overwhelming.  Fear is natural for a mother whose instinct is to protect her young, but I realize now that fear sometimes kept me from understanding the joy he was feeling as he was flying through the air. 

As time passed, Josh's practical side appeared - partly because that's who he is and partly because of our experiences.  But his sense of adventure is still there. He has graduated to a 4-wheel drive truck instead of an ATV, and this winter it found itself parked on top of several snow drifts.  But at the same time, he is aware of his responsibilities as a student, an employee, a son, and a child of God.

I pray that I will always nurture that sense of adventure.  The foundation has been poured, he is becoming a responsible citizen.  But every once in awhile, I want him to experience the joy of four wheels off the ground.

Reflections of a Mother

My son Joshua turns 18 this week.  As the calendar turns from Thursday to Friday, Josh's status changes in the eyes of the law.  He will be able to legally sign a contract, his insurance premium is reduced, and he can purchase his own shotgun ammunition without me.  Many opportunities open up to him starting Friday. 

And the reality hit me this morning - my boy will become a man.  Bittersweet, bittersweet indeed.

This week will be dedicated to reflecting on the journey of raising him so far, and the dreams for his future.

Like many mothers, when Josh was born I had an idealistic opinion of what it meant to be a mother, and to have a family.  He was, of course, perfect!  I was infatuated with his fingers and toes - that God could knit together something so perfect and give it life was absolutely amazing to me!

Reality of providing for, and caring for another human being set in fairly quickly.  But I was up for the task.  Throughout these past 18 years, my survival instinct has had to kick in a number of times, and so it did shortly after Josh was born.  The story is long and sorted, but suffice it to say I was willing (although I can't say I felt ready) to do anything and everything to provide for this child.

So many firsts - smile, steps, Christmas, birthday, word - I remember them all, and each brought joy to my heart that I had never felt before.  God provided me with a child - a son - and it was good.

I am in love with him more today than I was on the day he was first born.  I thank my God that He cared enough to send Josh into this world, to give me the honor of raising him, for protecting him in the past and future, and for creating such a sweet, caring heart who loves me and loves the God who created him.

And for those of you who are wondering - no, I'm not old enough to have an 18 year old child - maybe YOUR calendar says I am, but my calendar stopped about 10 years ago.

Abraham - Cliff Notes Version

I was in high school when I discovered Cliff Notes.  I liked to read, but was a little rebellious when it came to assigned reading.  Cliff Notes were the answer!  Of course, a good set of Cliff Notes would leave me wanting more - and often I would go back and read the actual book anyway.

While reading Acts 7 today, it struck me that this was Stephen's "Cliff Notes" version of Christian history, beginning with Abraham all of the way up to Stephen himself.  It's clear, concise and reflects the full essence of God himself.

And I feel like I graduated successfully - this time, I've actually read the full transcript before the Cliff Notes, which made Stephen's account even more interesting.  My high school teachers would be proud!

So, if you haven't tackled the Old Testament, check out Acts 7. It will leave you wanting more - be prepared, you'll want to read the book of Genesis!

Routine

This week we experienced "snowmageddon," "snowpocalypse" whatever you want to call the blizzard that dropped between 14" and 21" of snow across the Tulsa metro area.  Because we are not used to this type of weather, we don't have the equipment to clear the roads - so, it means that we've been snowed in now for 3 days.  This has really messed with my routine!

Normally, I get up early, put on a pot of hot water for tea, brush my teeth then sit down to read my Bible.  After reading, I pray, then move to the computer to write whatever's on my mind in this blog.  Well, this week, my morning has been filled with watching news reports, checking emails and working from home.  I've allowed this disruption in my routine to distract me from the most important task...reading God's word!  I filled myself with so much worldy information, that I failed to seek the Father first!

I'm upset with myself because I really don't like disappointing God by not including Him first.  So this morning, I sought His face, read His word, and asked for forgiveness.  His word to me was sweet, He didn't hold back, even though I had for two full days.  Thank you Lord that you care enough to forgive me and still provide your guidance and love, even when I don't show it back!

Speak Volumes Not Pages

I read a passage the other day that I'm sure I've read before, but it just didn't pop out like it did this time.

"Jesus did many other things as well.  If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written."  John 21:25

The Gospels (the books of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John) document much of Jesus' ministry.  His teachings, movements, miracles, arrest, conviction, death and resurrection are all told within these books.  The Gospels are full of so many stories that help lay the foundation of our Christian faith.  I never truly considered the fact that there was much more to tell.  Well, sure, I realize that because there isn't a day-to-day diary of everything Jesus did, there was more to His life than what's documented in the Gospels.  But, I never really considered how MUCH more!  Then, I read the John 21:25 "the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written."

Jesus was only 33 when he was crucified.  Thirty-three years on this earth, and much of that He spent preparing for His ministry before He ever assembled His disciples.  His life was short, yet He did so much.

The question I had to ask myself is - What have I done lately?  When it's all said and done, how much of an impact will I have on the Kingdom?  How many pages will it take to document what I've accomplished? 

Let me be clear, I'm in no way comparing myself to Jesus -  He was God in human form.  But if I believe the Scriptures, I have God in me and He wants to do immeasurably more than I could ever ask, think or imagine.

What have I done for the Kingdom?  Will what God does through me fill only one page, or will it fill volumes?  Or will it even be worth writing down? 

This passage of Scripture is inspiring "Jesus did other things as well...the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written."  What have I done that is worth documenting? And what will I do in the future?

What have YOU done for the Kingdom?  How many volumes will it take to document your Kingdom works?

Reflection

Ever have one of those moments (or series of moments) where you just get so irritated and let everyone around you know?  Yeah, me neither.  Okay - I actually have those moments entirely too frequently!  Yesterday was a good example.  Someone "pushed my buttons" in a way that just sent irritation and frustration through every cell in my body.  Let me rephrase - I allowed someone to irritate and frustrate me, and I shared it with everyone within ear shot.

"As water reflects the face, so one's life reflects the heart." Proverbs 27:19

As I was reading this morning, God slapped me with this Proverb.  One of my numerous flaws is that I wear my heart on my sleeve. No matter what emotion I may be dealing with at any given time, it is evident to anyone who I come in contact with. Whether I'm sad, irritated, angry, or happy, it's apparent.

I admire those people who always seem like nothing bothers them - they appear to be like ducks with the water of emotions skimming off of their backs. They truly have their hearts in the right place - mine...sometimes I wonder if God put my heart somewhere down in my toes.

I recognize my reaction to life is the only thing I can control.  I can't control anyone around me - I can only be responsible for how I handle it.  And I have to start with my heart condition.  I've known this for a long time, and I've made great strides in transforming my emotions...but I still have a long way to go. 

I want more than anything for my life to reflect a pure, loving, caring, merciful, and passionate heart.  I'm getting there - and with God's grace and direction, am praying that, someday, I'll be able to look back at a life that truly reflects God's heart. 

What about you?  What does your life reflect?

Super Bowl!

If you are my friend, you know I'm not a big sports fan.  It's not that I don't like sports - because I do - I've just found that there are dozens of other things that I could be doing other than watching every football, baseball, basketball and/or hockey game on television.  But - I've always liked the Super Bowl!

A few days ago, my son told me we should have a Super Bowl party.  I walked over to our 27" television, pointed and the two of us began to laugh - yeah, who would want to watch the Super Bowl at our house when everyone we know has a TV the size of the football stadium itself.  Well - that's about to change!

I received a telephone call yesterday from a good friend - they just replaced their "old" television with a flat screen and wanted to bless us by giving us their old TV.  He told me before I say yes to come over and take a look at the TV.  So, I zipped over there last night - walked into the garage, and there it was - glowing in the dark like some kind of beacon, beckoning me to "step into the light."  My friend's garage was immediately transformed into an animated forest complete with Shrek romping around larger than life...on a 50" television with surround sound speakers! Oh my...I'm speechless - all I can get out of my mouth is Thank You!

I have been richly blessed throughout the years, and I am so thankful.  God has surrounded me with some of the most incredibly generous, loving and genuine people!  And it's not just material giving - my friends give their hearts by being selfless with their time and their love for one another.  I only hope I can give back even a portion of what I've received!

...I think I'll start with the Super Bowl - who wants to come to my house?  Here's your invite!

Dog Days

A song lyric keeps running through my mind this morning - "the dog days are over."  I am absolutely clueless why, but I can't stop singing it.  I keep trying to correlate this lyric to my reading, to draw out some kind of higher meaning - a message from God.  But...nothing. 

The dog days are over.  Well, duh!  It's winter!  And it's cold outside.  Maybe God's trying to tell me to dress appropriately?

But - just as I almost give up trying to find some deep spiritual significance of this song, I read through John 17 and come across this:

"My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one.  They are not of the world, even as I am not of it."  John 17:15-16

I don't remember all of the lyrics of the song in my head, but because it is a secular song, I doubt that they're entirely wholesome and ready to be turned into a hymn.  But as it continues to bounce around in my little pea brain, I am reminded that I am not OF the world, even though I am IN the world.  Because I am in this world, I am surrounded by music, movies, television shows and other influences that are OF this world. 


Jesus cared enough to pray for me before he was crucified - he knew that there would be influences in the 21st century that didn't exist in his time.  He knew how twisted and corrupt the world was and how much worst it would get - and he prayed for me.
 
Jesus taught his disciples and prayed to the Father...

"As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world." John 17:18

 
God sent Jesus to earth, Jesus trained his disciples and sent them out into the world, and they taught others who finally reached me.  Just like Jesus' disciples, I am influenced in this world because I am IN it.  But because of Jesus, I am not OF it.  What I do IN this world is what matters.
 
The dog days are over - it's just a song that I heard on the radio and it is still bouncing around in my head.  But it has meaning - meaning in this world.
 
I get the message loud and clear - and thank you God, I will dress appropriately.

It's Over

Well - the 21 day fast has officially ended - and what do I want for breakfast?  A banana and peanut butter.  Seems crazy, I know, but I think it's an indication of how I feel about this fast and its impact on me spiritually, emotionally and physically.  Truth is - I'm a bit sad that it's over (noticed I said "a bit").

My mind is racing with a million things I want to write today comparing this fast to different experiences, but I think I'll leave it at this:

Today, my mind is clearer, my body is healthier, and my heart is fuller.  I see myself more clearly as a child of God and a woman of significance for Him.  I am closer to God than I have been in a long time, and He is revealing to me, brick by brick, the path that He has for me. 

And...I am afraid.  I don't ever want to step back to where I was a month ago.  I want to be in His courts, in His presence, in His will, the rest of the days of my life.  God has revealed some big things and He has put people in my path to keep me accountable and to guide and direct me.  He is creating new relationships and strengthening old ones that He will use to keep me on His path.

Today, I no longer have the "crutch" of a corporate fast.  But, today, I have my Father...and it is Good!

Hearing vs Listening

First off - wow, something really didn't want me to blog today.  I've been "messing" with my computer for nearly 30 minutes - first the computer froze, then the wireless router, then blogspot service.  But I press on...here 'goes.

What does the saying "I heard from God" mean to you?  What does it really mean when someone says "God spoke to me?"  Well, there are numerous examples throughout the Bible.  In Genesis, God actually took Abram outside of his tent to show him the stars in the sky.  In Exodus, God appeared to Moses through the flames of a bush that miraculously caught on fire all by itself.  In the New Testament, God chose to speak to us through His Son, Jesus Christ.  At Pentacost, God sent His Holy Spirit to intercede for us and become our own personal counselor for God.  God has spoken in many different ways throughout time, and continues to do so today.

A friend of mine said to me just this morning that he longs for the days when God was more tangible - he doesn't feel like he's been "hearing" from God like he has in the past.  Do you ever feel that way?  Do you feel like you've never heard from God, or that he's giving you the silent treatment lately?

I'm wondering - is it because He's not speaking that we don't "hear" Him, or is it actually because we aren't listening?

Not too long ago I went through a period of time where I just didn't seem to hear from God - I felt like I was truly in a dessert, all alone, asking - no begging to be lead out of the dessert and back to the promised land, but nothing.  Life continued to happen around me and I continued to participate, but I felt like God wasn't listening because he wasn't speaking back. 

As I look back at that not-to-terribly distant past, I realize God was speaking, I just wasn't listening.  Wandering around in the dessert, He continued to send me "manna from heaven" - He continued to feed me, provide for me and protect me.  He continued to remind me that He will never leave me nor forsake me.  But I was so focused on some ground-breaking, burning-bush message that I didn't listen to what He was truly trying to tell me. 

Here's the message...are you ready?

"Be patient.  Seek.  Listen.  I am tangible.  My message is valuable.  Listen and you will hear it.  And when the time comes, I will move in a way that is unmistakeably me."

When we think God isn't speaking, maybe we should focus more on listening.  Pay attention to everything going on around us.  Watch for the little things.  And as we ask for the bigger things - continue to do so in boldness that He will deliver - but be patient...and listen.

Facts and Fire

I am really enjoying the 21 Day Fast reading plan (there are numerous Bible reading plans available online).  Something almost always stands out - something that God wants me to ponder.  Today's was in the Additional Content:  "What facts are you facing today that defy God's truth?  Take the facts to God...and believe with boldness that your God will be with you in the fire." 

The scripture in today's reading was Daniel 3 was about Shadrach, et al's stint in the blazing furnace.  They faced the fact that they were to seek their God and no other gods, no matter what the consequences - even if it meant being thrown into a fiery furnace.  The story is pretty remarkable - the fire was so hot that it killed guards that were standing outside the furnace!  But yet, Shadrach and his two buddies (I'm being lazy here - I don't want to misspell their names, but I'm too lazy to look them up - forgive me) came out of the furnace not even smelling like smoke!  WOW!

Fast forward to January 19, 2011 and Robyn Brinkley - there are several "facts" that I am facing today.  Thankfully, no fiery furnace (especially since fire is my biggest phobia).  But facts keep popping up that defy some things that God has called me to do.  In the past, I have allowed these "facts" to derail my commitment.  I have caved and lost confidence in my calling.  But God is calling me to believe with absolute boldness - the boldness of Shadrach - that my God will be with me in the fire, and in the end, I will step out and not even smell like smoke!

The kindling has been lit, the fire has been stoked, I'm in the furnace, and standing right next to me...Jesus himself!  Come on in and join me - It's warm in here!

No Blog Just Budget

Today is Budget day.  I've got to finish the budget for our campus and submit it to our central office for review and approval.  We budget on a quarterly basis - just finished Q4 2010, so we are budgeting for Q4 of 2011.  This makes the budget process much easier and less painful - rather than budgeting for an entire year, we only budget for 3 months.  However, it still means that I have a ton of work ahead of me today.

Therefore - so sorry, but no blog.  No inspirational words.  No insight into what God's doing in me today.  No magnifying glass on how "human" (aka messed up) I really am.  Nope...just budget.

Hope your day is filled with things that are much more joyous than numbers.  Have a blessed day!

How to Silence Over 500 People

I can hardly believe it's the final week of the fast.  The last 2 weeks have mostly flown by - although there definitely have been times when it seemed like time stood still (especially at the Cheesecake Factory as my son was ordering his red velvet "cheesecake from heaven").

A good friend of mine posted this on Facebook yesterday:

God’s characteristic way of working is in quietness and through prayer. … If we are conditioned to respond to noise and size, we will miss God’s word and action. – Eugene Peterson

So true - God loves to work through quietness and prayer - but sometimes "quiet" doesn't mean sitting in a room alone with no distractions.  Here's a crazy example:  Yesterday, in the middle of more than 500 people, God revealed a bit of His plan to me.  The room seemed to be eerily silent, although there were hundreds of people sitting all around and our pastor's message was being proclaimed from stage.  God created His own quiet.  He removed all of the sounds around me - the people whispering, coughing, sneezing, babies crying, Pastor Craig's message through the loud speakers, people snoring (just kidding - who can sleep when Craig preaches!).  He created quiet so that I could hear his voice.

Hopefully someday I will share what He said to me...but in the meantime, suffice it to say that Change is coming, and it is going to be GOOD!

Confession

For those of you fasting that may have cheated a little here or there, I have a confession to make.  I broke my fast yesterday over lunch.  Let me explain.

I met a couple of pastors for lunch to talk about the direction of their multi-campus church.  We chose to meet somewhere central - and I suggested Smoke, the new restaurant on Cherry Street where my brother-in-law Erik Reynolds is the Exec Chef.  I'll take any opportunity I can get to enjoy the delectable cooking of my BIL, and to promote this new restaurant!  So...as I perused the menu, my mouth began to water...and I caved.  Smoked pork tacos please.  And they were delicious!

I figured in my mind - this is a "righteous" meeting, right?  This is a meeting ordained by God to further the Big "C" church?  So surely God won't mind if I cheat a little here today - after all, I need to be gracious to the gentlemen who were paying for my lunch, and I don't want to be like a Pharisee and point out how amazing I am because I am fasting for a whole 21 days!  Well, sure, all that has some level of truth.  But as I left the restaurant, and I moved through the rest of the day - one thing became very clear,

It wasn't about the fast itself, but about my focus on God.

As I delighted in the succulent, smokey, spicy shredded pork, my focus became about the food and not about God.

Let me be clear - God allows us to enjoy the food that He has blessed us with.  But, when we are fasting certain foods, by eating and certainly relishing every bite, it defeats the very purpose of the 21-day commitment to God.  Accidentally having cheese on a salad ordered at a restaurant, or not realizing that a certain soup is made with beef stock isn't really a "cheat" in my book - because we are still sticking with the spirit of the fast, even though we may have broken the "law" of the fast.

I have confessed to God and asked for forgiveness (he saw the beauty that was on my plate anyway), and committed to spending more time with him to make up for the focus I lost yesterday.  And so now I've confessed to you.  Forgive me.  Don't think me too weak.  And check out Smoke when the fast is over - you won't regret it!

Doubt is Out the Window

For months I have been playing Doubting Thomas.  I think I'm on the right track, then turn back because I doubt myself.  The littlest speck of "debris" on the tracks and I stop the speeding train for fear of derailment. 

In the message at LifeChurch.tv this past weekend (which you can check out at Church Online through Saturday), our senior pastor Craig Groeschel talked about how we would be "big thinking, bet-the-farm risk takers."  Craig has spoken those words to his staff several times over the past year and each time I think - yeah, that's me, a bet-the-farm risk taker.  But, my actions have not been a reflection...until now.

Several things have happened in the past few days.  First, I received an email from a friend whom I had asked to pray for me.  His words were uplifting and encouraging throughout the email - but the words that stuck the most are those he heard directly from God - "Change is coming and it is going to be GOOD."  Fast forward a few days - had a fantastic meeting with a couple of powerful women yesterday, one of whom also received a word from God for me - "Change is coming and it is going to be GOOD."  But she cautioned, change won't happen unless I'm willing to take some risks.

This morning, I read:

"If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.  But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.  That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord.  Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do."  James 1:5-8

I've asked for wisdom, have asked others to pray for me in this regard, and the word of God is clear and true.  Do not doubt.  Do not be double-minded.  Do not be unstable in all I do.  Believe and He will give it generously and without finding fault.

The events of the past few days, and these words from God have lifted the yoke of bondage I've been in for a few months.  God is giving me Wisdom, and giving it generously.

I will seek after what God has promised with passion and determination.  I am a Big Thinking, Bet-the-Farm Risk Taker, and I am empowered by God himself.  So watch out because I won't be stopped!

Thank you for those who have prayed for me and I ask for your continued prayers!  God wants to do big and mighty things that only He can do.  Doubts are out the window!  Who wants to join me?

It's Working

Isn't it amazing when what you seek from God, He delivers?  The past 9 days, I have been seeking God for focus and for change.  And each day, I receive a little more from Him.  My mind wanders a little less, my focus seems to be getting clearer, and He is definitely changing the way I handle the life that spirals around me.

A quick example - yesterday, I reached out to several people about a project I want to undertake.  Before I could get a response, I heard from someone else on why it wouldn't work.  Usually, I am quick to react, fast to jump right back and defend my case.  But something told me to hang on, be patient, wait until tomorrow to answer.  As the day wore on, I finally did begin to receive responses from those whom I had petitioned...and they are interested in looking into this project.  Thankfully, I held my tongue, kept my cool...and waited.  Of course, there's still a long way to go on this project, and it may face many hurdles before seeing completion, but I know now that God is guiding me and with Him, it will work after all!

I will continue to pray for focus and change - likely even after this fast is over.  And I am thankful to My God that He cares enough to listen to a hot-head like me!

John 7:18

"Whoever speaks on their own does so to gain personal glory, but he who seeks the glory of the one who sent him is a man of truth; there is nothing false about him."

Fasting is all about seeking.  Today, I seek the glory of God, that my mind will be transformed.  Simple as that.

Focus

Day 8 - and today's theme seems to be Focus, Focus, Focus.  Our staff team is currently reading Celebration of Discipline by Richard J. Foster and, at staff meeting, I am to talk about the first two inward disciplines - meditation and prayer.  As I read through the pages, my mind seemed to wander constantly - thinking about the myriad of things that need to be accomplished.  Laundry, dishes, Sunday reports, the list goes on and on.  But God was trying to teach me something - Focus!

Meditation requires focus - prayer requires focus - life requires focus.  But how?  My mind is racing like a million electrical circuits, all firing at the same time giving energy to all of the life around me - if I focus on only one circuit, how will everything around me have electricity? The laundry, dishes, reports, meetings - how will it all get done?

Focus.

Focus..

Focus...

Focus on Him who gives me strength.  On Him who gives me life.  On Him who is my provider.  On Him who is my sustainer.  On Him who is my very creator.

Fasting is about denying myself something, relying on God to give me what I need, and then allowing Him to reveal Himself to me in a real way.  Fasting requries focus.  Actually, fasting perpetuates focus.  As I hunger and yearn for the cheesy goodness of an omelette, as I salivate over the pizza commercials, I can't help but turn my thoughts over to Him.

Today, I am asking Him to turn off all of the unnecessary electric circuits - the distractions - in my brain so that I may focus on the things that please Him.  I am simply asking Him to allow me to Focus.

And to remove all pizza commercials from television for the next two weeks...is that too much to ask?

Farming part Deux

More about farming today.  As I was reading yesterday, God showed me the following scripture:

"My food," said Jesus, "is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work. Don't you have a saying, 'it's still four months until harvest'? I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest. John 4:34-35

While I fast from certain foods, I recognize that my real food "is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work." And as I noted yesterday, the work is all about his people. 

There's a recurring theme as I enter into Day 5 - people.  When I salivate over the scrumptuous delights portrayed on my television screen, as I yearn for yummy meals all around me, as my stomach growls, it is becoming easier to turn my focus on God's desire to reach His people and provide for them the food and water of life.

I'm looking at people differently today - no, I'm not envisioning them as a large piece of pepperoni pizza - I'm more clearly seeing them as children of God, ready to be harvested into His Kingdom.  And it is good...it is good indeed!

Farming and Administration

How do farming and administration fit together?  Well, you'll see.  As an administrative pastor, I spend each day handling administrative tasks that help run our church office and also prepare us for the weekend.  Ordering supplies, scheduling volunteers, managing budgets...there are numerous tasks that must be completed before each Sunday's services.  Sometimes I get so caught up in these tasks that I forget the reason they're necessary - for the people.

Hitting Day 4 of the Fast, God is beginning to really stir my soul.  He's showing me that although what I do on a daily basis is "behind the scenes" and sometimes mundane, it has eternal significance.  It's not unlike a farmer who must ready the soil with the proper nutrients, plant the seeds, protect the plants from pests, and then harvest the crop.  The farmer does months of prep work before he ever gets to reap the harvest from even one plant.

The farmer lives for the harvest.  And just like the farmer, I live for the harvest of people - to see their lives changed each and every week.  Luckily for me, my prep work is only a week long - I don't have to wait as long as the farmer to see the harvest.  Each and every Sunday, I get to see first hand God's harvest after I've readied the soil - after I've done the prep work according to His will.

So if you ask me what I do during the week?  Well, I farm. And on Sundays, I get to pull out the combine and reap God's harvest.  So, if you see me on my combine in the church lobby, climb aboard! I'd love for you to farm with me!

Not Tempted - But Tested

With obedience and vulnerability sometimes comes testing.  My reason for fasting is multi-faceted - to be obedient to the calling of our senior pastor who has called our church to fast; to be obedient to God who has demonstrated fasting in his followers in many instances throughout the Bible; and the most important, to become closer to my Savior!  Any time we seek after God with all of our hearts, we cause a real threat to the enemy - and his desire is to bring us down.

Yesterday, my son called on his way to school and his truck is having problems.  It's the transmission.  Anyone who knows anything about cars knows that transmission problems are extremely expensive.  And, like many families, we do not have the kind of money necessary to replace the transmission.  This morning I'm going to try to drive it to a repair shop and see if we can get an estimate.  I am praying fervently that God miraculously heals the truck on my way to the repair shop, or at a very minimum, causes the repair to be inexpensive.  Unfortunately, we live in a town that has little or no mass transportation, and my son has to get from one school to another, and then to work each day - so a vehicle is necessary.  To many this may sound like a mere inconvenience, but for me being a single mom, it's a bit bigger.

We all face many trials, some more than others, and perservere.  This is no exception - we will get through this one.  We will not let the enemy win and bring us down.  We will call on the one true living God to take care of us.  He will provide the solution.  And we will praise Him that He has given us the truck to begin with.

And, if you see me on the road driving a beat up 1990 GMC Sierra pickup, wave.  But forgive me if I don't wave back through the dark tinted windows - I'll probably be distracted because I'll be gettin' my "G" lean on and rockin' out with the stereo cranked - may as well take advantage of the amazing sound system and pretend I'm a teenager again!

Day 2

So far, my commitment to writing more often has stuck.  Granted, it's only Day 2...but I'm holding out hope!

Yesterday went fairly well overall - with one exception.  My sweet 17-yr old son wanted to take me out to dinner - to Cheesecake Factory!  I initially told him no, that I'm on this fast and can't really eat anything (at least not anything worthwhile at such a temple of temptation - I mean really, the place should just be built as a gingerbread house covered in candy).  But I heard a true disappointment in my son's voice as I uttered the words "fast" and "I can't eat anything there." 

So, I figured I'd take one for the team - go to Cheesecake Factory and see what I could possibly eat - and spend some quality time with my son.  I figured I would have to ask them to steam some veggies for me, or whip up some kind of fruit plate, but I was pleasantly surprised - they had fresh made guacomole (which meant all veggies, no preservatives or additivies).

I was able to stick with my commitment to God to forego any delectable delight (although my son tried to tempt me with a bite of his red velvet cheesecake).  And as an added bonus - I demonstrated to my son what it means to commit your life, and your inconveniences, to God...and stick to it.

Just so you know, I am praying fervently that my son doesn't want to try another restaurant in the next 19 days because I'm afraid I won't be as strong! Lord, hear my prayer.

21 Day Fast

Today begins a 21 Day Fast.  Our senior pastor, Craig Groeschel of LifeChurch.tv, called the church to begin a 21 day fast.  (I've actually heard from several people at different churches that their pastors are also calling for a fast - I absolutely LOVE how God brings the church together.)  As I begin this journey, one of my goals is to begin writing more consistently - so here it goes.

This morning, I read Day 1 of the 21 Day Fast Reading Plan on YouVersion.com.  As part of the reading, it suggested that I write what specific clarity or vision I desire from God during this journey.  As I began to write, I realized how inconvenient this fast is for me, and how I'd really rather not give up cheese and butter, even if it's for God and His church.

Once I got past my selfishness, I began to journal the areas where I'm seeking God's clarity.  This list was long.  So very long.  You see, if I were truly seeking God with all my heart, mind, and passion daily - if I truly give everything to God and give up my own conveniences - the way He desires - daily - then maybe the list would say something like "World Peace," or "For Jesus to come and Rapture His Church."  But, I'm a flawed human being, a selfish sinner...and so my list is long.

Today, I will focus on being inconvenienced for God - the author and finisher of my faith - my provider - my counselor - my Father - my Creator.  And I will pray over my long list, and pray that He looks down on this selfish sin-filled human being and gives me strength and determination to focus on Him and not on my inconveniences.