Duplicity

du·plic·i·ty

 [doo-plis-i-tee, dyoo-] 

noun, plural du·plic·i·ties 
1.  deceitfulness in speech or conduct, as by speaking or acting in two different ways to different people concerning the same matter; double dealing.

As I sit on my porch, listening to the sounds of morning, I questioned God about His purpose for my life. After sleeping 12+ hours, instead of appreciating the quality sleep that often escapes me, I could feel frustration rising that "half the day" is already gone, and I still "have" to read my devotions, study the Word and try to write a blog. My friends are at work, earning an income, joking and planning the next happy hour and I'm stuck here, my body working against me and sleeping the day away. Then, in true God fashion, I came across this scripture in one of those dreaded devotions:

"With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water." (James 3:9-12 NIV)

The context of this scripture is James telling others about taming their tongue - to stop acting "holy" while speaking poorly about others.  What this scripture said to me was "You can't have your cake and eat it too."  I cannot be duplicitous. Either I serve God or I serve myself.

Immersing myself in cooking and game shows, checking all the social media sites every 15 minutes, reading suspense novels, accepting every happy hour and party invite...top items on my list of self-serving struggles.

Studying the Word, reading devotions, writing, maintaining a Godly home with Godly relationships...simple list of God serving requirements.

I have a choice.

God placed a calling on my life: To lead women into their significance in Christ.  This calling requires sacrifice, commitment, and single mindedness. While I would like 14+ hours of productivity instead of sleep, I recognize that sleep lifts some of the "fog" that I live with and allows me a few lucid hours to read, write and focus.

We are all on this earth for a reason.  We can live the life gifted to us in a worldly manner seeking status, income, and living for the next party.  Or live a live of purpose, impacting others for eternity.

I choose purpose.  I choose God. I am in an interesting season that allows me more time to seek God's face - this may last for a few more weeks, may last longer. Seasons change and I am not sure what tomorrow brings, but I know I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. With His help, I will not be duplicitous.